Brief synopsis of the readings: Still in the Acts of the Apostles in the first reading, we see the Apostles brought before the Sanhedrin (the rulers of the Temple). The Apostles were accused of proclaiming Jesus even after being warned not to. The Apostles replied that they would obey God instead of human authorities. They were warned once again but refused. When they left the presence of the Sanhedrin they rejoiced that “they had been found worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name.” Today’s Gospel has a long and a short version and I’ll be using the long version. The Gospel describes several Apostles deciding to go fishing but caught nothing all night. At daybreak Jesus was on the shore but they did not recognize him. When asked, they admitted they had caught nothing and Jesus suggested they cast the nets again and this time they caught so many they couldn’t haul in the net. Peter then recognized it was Jesus. They prepared a meal on shore and Jesus ate to prove he was not just a spirit. Jesus then asked Peter if he (Peter) loved him (Jesus). Peter said he did and Jesus told him: “Feed my lambs.” Jesus asked a second time and Peter gave the same answer. When Jesus asked a third time Peter responded: “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus then told him to feed his sheep.”

We have a limited number of encounters between the Apostles and Jesus. If asked most people would say that their favorite was the Thomas story from last week or the road to Emmaus in Luke. My favorite, however, is today’s encounter between Jesus and Peter. After recognizing the resurrected Jesus, Peter was thrilled. But then Jesus asked Peter three times (!) if Peter loved him. It may seem redundant to ask the same question three times, and truthfully I normally assume if someone keeps asking the same question several times they are telling you that you’re giving the wrong answer (like when your spouse asks if you want to mow the lawn). But here I think there’s a deeper meaning.

The night that Jesus was arrested and put on trial Peter denied three times that he knew Jesus. Here we can be honest and say that Peter did this out of fear. He was afraid that his life or safety was at risk and he took the coward’s way out by denying everything. I’ve always felt that of all the betrayals Jesus suffered, this was the worst. When I was growing up we heard all about the ways Jesus was tortured: the crown of thorns, the beatings, etc. But I’ve always felt that my worst experiences were not centered on physical pain but on loneliness and abandonment. When Jesus looked down from the cross and saw how few people stuck with him, well that must have been downright hellish.

Like Peter we all have the capacity to sin and that capacity can be great, and sometimes we can talk ourselves into believing we’ve crossed the line and enter into what cannot be forgiven. When my patients would tell me about an alleged unforgivable sin, I would always respond that Peter denied Jesus three times and now he has the keys to Heaven. Believing we have the ability to sin beyond Jesus’ ability or even willingness to forgive can be a sort of hubris.

So how did Peter find redemption? It has been suggested that Jesus asked Peter three times if Peter loved him because it was the antidote to the three times Peter denied Jesus. But Peter’s profession of love wasn’t enough. Jesus then told him to “feed my sheep.” Obviously this foretells Peter’s role as the first pope, and the root of the word “pastor” is “shepherd.” I’m aware that I’m writing this the week before the College of Cardinals will meet to chose the next Pope. The call to feed the sheep of Jesus was a necessary step in Jesus forgiving Peter.

To this day when someone celebrates the Sacrament of Reconciliation (aka goes to confession) a necessary part of this sacrament entails some sort of penance. But what do we mean when we say the word penance? I fear that for many of us that word meant some sort of punishment, some type of sacrifice we needed to perform to be forgiven, and it was oftentimes a prayer or a series of prayers (e.g. 5 Hail Mary’s or a rosary). I’ve always been troubled by the idea that penance as a form of punishment and more troubled that we’ve labeled reciting prayers as punishment.

We call the sacrament of reconciliation (confession) a sacrament of healing because if sin gets us off the track of where our life should be headed, then penance is the action that gets us back on track. Prayers, especially ones we learned as a child, remind us of God’s love and our place with him. And actions will oftentimes help us return to the life we’re called to. When Peter is commanded to lead this community of Jesus’ followers it was what he was called to do. It wasn’t always easy and it wasn’t always clear but Peter was able to do it with joy.

So too with us, all these years later. Whenever we teach (by words or example) we feed Jesus’ sheep. When we challenge old norms, find new solutions, or include someone who has been excluded, we feed Jesus’ sheep. We live in hard times and it’s easy for us to pay more attention to those things that divide us. And we don’t need to charge recklessly into conflict. But these times do call us to recognize those things that we can do to find healing in our lives and the lives of others.

Finally, imagine what would have happened if Peter was afraid to accept Jesus’ forgiveness. If he hadn’t promised to “feed my sheep” there likely would have been no early church and it’s hard to imagine a way we would still be accepting Jesus’ love today. Peter’s acceptance of mercy and forgiveness and his ability to move on from his sin allows us to do the same.