Brief synopsis of the readings: Our first reading from 1st Samuel describes complicated events between Saul and David. Saul was king of Israel but was aware that David wished to unseat him. David was given the opportunity to kill Saul but declined as he didn’t want to slay God’s anointed king but he took Saul’s spear. With the spear he announced to his troops that he had the power to kill Saul but declined to kill God’s anointed. Luke’s Gospel continues after last week. Jesus, speaking to his disciples, told them to love your enemies. To do good to those who hate you. To turn your cheek to those who spit on you. Do good to those who do evil to you. Don’t judge and you won’t be judged. If you grant pardon you will be pardoned. Give because the amount you will give will be given back to you.”

Today’s Gospel continues and builds on last week’s and if we think Jesus was crazy last week, well this week he’s really strayed from common sense. If people were supposed to rejoice at being poor or hungry, now we hear that we are supposed to love our enemies.

Really? Well….yes.

If we treat people exactly as they treat us two things happen: we give all our ethical power to the other person and we virtually ensure that things will never improve and may well devolve. And once things devolve it can easily turn into a downward spiral.

When I was still a priest a couple came to see me because their marriage had turned into a series of arguments and increasing anger. For the first half hour of our meeting they traded grudges and spoke about the times they felt let down. It could have gone on much longer had I not interrupted them with this question: “Do you want to stay married?” They looked at me in stunned silence until I explained that they needed to decide which direction they wanted to go. I told them that if they want to end their marriage that’s one path and if they wanted to save their marriage that’s another path.

After about 30 seconds of awkward silence first he and then she said they wanted to stay married.

And so the three of us set a path forward. It began with “please” and “thank you.” I asked them to spend time with each other talking about what first attracted them to each other. Finally I asked them to spend time thinking what made each other happy and work toward that. Unfortunately I’ve lost touch with them but I hope they are still married and I hope that evening in my office the planned the direction of their marriage.

Obviously they weren’t enemies but the conflicts in their marriage was soon becoming an enemy that would send their marriage into a downward spiral. By reintroducing first politeness, then kindness, then generosity it allow their marriage toward an upward spiral.

And yet when we talk about love of enemies we often aren’t talking about two people in a troubled marriage, but the lessons are the same. We are called to break the patterns of a downward spiral and turn it into an upward spiral. Jesus doesn’t call us to love those people who are neutral about us, but about people who have no interest in this Gospel, people who want bad things to happen to us.

For me the greatest teacher of this is Martin Luther King. In the course of his life and his work to end segregation he had countless enemies: The White Citizens’ Council, Senator Strom Thurmond, and James Earl Ray, among others. They hated him because they feared a nation where everyone would be judged “not by the color of their skin but by the the content of their character.”

Dr. King believed that, in the long run, if we refuse to hate those who hate us we will exhaust them because hate requires the fuel of the other person’s hate to sustain itself. If we cut off their fuel we will (eventually) cut off their hate. For what it’s worth the White Citizen’s Council no longer exists. Strom Thurmond’s son Paul, in 2015, advocated for the removal of the Confederate flag from the South Carolina State House. Dr King’s assassin, reconciled with Dr. King’s family before his death in 1998.

I’m aware that Dr. King’s life was cut short by his assassination. I’m not naive and I recognize that we currently live in a world that sees hate as strength and healing and reconciliation as weakness. The 24 hour news cycle and social media gains wealth and influence by encouraging conflict and resentment.

That also makes today’s reading more important and relevant than ever. We are not called to believe that a downward spiral enhances our position. To the contrary takes us both down. But loving those who hate us gives them their only opportunity to love us.

Is your neighbor a Donald Trump supporter? Don’t tell him he’s an idiot but instead tell him how you care about his grandchildren too. Does your coworker think Joe Biden will take away his 2nd Amendment rights? Listen to his fear about protecting his family and pledge your support for his family’s safety.

Finally, loving your enemy doesn’t mean enabling them. Some of our enemies not only wish our demise but act toward it. If your enemy is an ex-partner you may be called to love that person but it doesn’t mean allowing that person access to your safety. People (often women) in shelters sometimes feel torn when their abusers falsely promise love and an end to the abuse. While they are called to love their abuser they are not required to put themselves back into harm’s way.

At the end of the day those who hate us come from many places, many times and many circumstances. Today’s Gospel tells us that they have only one thing in common: their only chance for transformation lies in our willingness to forgive and love them.