Brief synopsis of the readings: Continuing in the Old Testament book of Isaiah, God speaks to Ahaz and suggests that Ahaz ask for a sign. Ahaz, however, refuses to “put the Lord to the test.” Weary, God then gives a sign: the virgin will give birth to a son and call him Emmanuel which means “God with us. In Matthew’s Gospel we read about Jesus’ birth. Mary agreed to carry a child by the Holy Spirit while she was betrothed to Joseph. When Joseph learned of this he decided not to publicly humiliate her but instead decided to quietly divorce her. But when Joseph was asleep an angel appeared to him in a dream. The angel told him to marry Mary because she would give birth to a son who will be named Jesus. The angel then recalled the prophecy from our first reading. Joseph then took Mary into his home.
You know, Joseph must have had one heck of an agent. He gets scant attention in Scripture and yet is nearly universally revered. He gets no mention in Mark’s Gospel and a passing reference in John. What little we know comes from a few scenes in Matthew in Luke. Joseph appears a few times at Jesus’ birth and once when Jesus was a child and then disappears completely.
We know that Joseph was betrothed to Mary, learned she was pregnant and decided to break the betrothal. Here he is described as a man of honor. And perhaps we need a little background. In that time if a couple were betrothed to each other they were not yet living as husband and wife but intending to be so. In that sense it’s a little like a modern couple who are engaged. But there are a few differences. These days an engagement bears no legal standing: either person can cancel the wedding with no legal ramifications. An engagement is a public proclamation but neither person is indebted if it doesn’t work out. But, as we can here, when Joseph decided to end the betrothal he needed to get a divorce. He could make it a public spectacle or a quiet procedure but it had to be done.
OK, a little more background. All Joseph knew at the beginning of today’s Gospel was that Mary was pregnant and he wasn’t the father. Modern readers can easily overlook this but Joseph must have assumed she was pregnant by another man. There was a persistent rumor that Jesus’ biological father was a Roman soldier; obviously we don’t believe this but that must have crossed Joseph’s mind.
And then he had a dream. Much like Mary, Joseph is told about Jesus and told not to be afraid. From my reading he could have said no. But, like Mary, he said yes. The rest, as they say, is history.
And it’s been an interesting history. As I said, we don’t know much about Joseph but we’ve filled many of the blanks. Since Joseph dropped out of the story when Jesus was young some have advanced the belief that Joseph was older than Mary and perhaps had children from a previous marriage. That makes it easier to explain passage that talk about Jesus having siblings.
Joseph also holds a strong place in the lives of those who work with their hands. On May 1st we celebrate St. Joseph the Worker; he’s not seen as an executive in an expensive suit but a man who worked hard and produced things we need. My maternal grandfather spent his life making wooden baby furniture; in his basement he had a workbench with an icon of Joseph above eye level. I feel certain my grandfather found in Joseph a kindred spirit.
Joseph also holds a place for all those who have made a promise with no idea where it would leave him. God called him not just to raise a child he didn’t father but also to raise the one who would one day redeem the world. As those who revere Joseph it’s good to recognize that there are times when we, too, may be called to unexpected paths.
Sometimes they are big. In 1942 a young woman in the Netherlands named Miep Gies saw that her Jewish employer and family faced arrest by the Nazi’s, followed by deportation to the death camps and she decided to hide them in her home. At the time she had no idea who would win the war or how long she would need to hide the Frank family. The story, alas, does not have a happy ending, but her yes came without condition or expiration date.
But most of the time we’re called to follow in ways that don’t make headlines but are sacred nonetheless. As a priest I enjoyed presiding at weddings. But I have to admit to some amusement as I watched young couples pledge that they would love, honor and support each other regardless of the length of their marriages. That they would honor that commitment without regard to financial future and particularly with regard to health.
In my next chapter as a hospice chaplain I was often moved to tears watching couples after 50, 60, or even 70 years of marriage care for each other in ways they probably didn’t anticipate on their wedding day. I’ve witnessed them learning skills they would have sworn were beyond them for years. And when asked about it shrug and answer: “This is what I promised.”
I also need not remind anyone that we make this promise when we bring home a newborn. We know that a new life is anything but a blank slate that we can fashion into who we want. The child may face challenges related to career choices. Or sexual orientation. Or recognizing themselves as non-binary. The need for ongoing parenting never expires any more than the devotion of parents to care for their children.
We are not called to pretend that these calls are easy or delude ourselves into thinking that if we were stronger these roles would be easier. But we are called, much like Joseph, to show up everyday not knowing how many days stretch before us.
We don’t know anything about the wisdom Joseph imparted on Jesus. But I like to think that showing up every day mattered the most. Let’s continue to be Joseph.