Brief synopsis of the readings: In the Old Testament Book of Wisdom (OK, I’m going to stop saying it) the writer asks who “can know the intentions of God?” He goes on to say that human reasoning is unsure and our intentions are unstable. Further we have a hard enough time figuring out what is on earth: how can we discover what is in heaven? We will be saved only with Wisdom. In Luke’s Gospel we see great crowds following Jesus who turned around and spoke to them. He told them that no one can follow him “without hating his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes and his own life too.” He then spoke about how a builder wouldn’t build a tower unless he was certain he had enough funding. Or a king wouldn’t battle another king unless he knew he had enough troops to win the battle. “So in the same way, none of you can be my disciple unless he gives up all his possessions.”
Of all the Gospel passages we read at mass this may be the one many of us find the most confusing, at least on the first reading. Last week I suggested that Jesus didn’t simply speak to us about strategies for avoiding embarrassing situations at weddings. This week I don’t think Jesus is imparting wisdom on how to build a tower or win a battle against a rival. Frankly it’s hard to imagine that anyone of Jesus’ followers had enough money to build a tower or were military officers who made command decisions at war.
And while we’re on the subject, do we need to hate everyone in our family to follow Jesus? This is one of those statements that makes me happy I’m not a fundamentalist. To be honest I’m a little surprised that passage hasn’t made it’s way to daytime TV (“Today we have a daughter who says she hates her parents because Jesus told her to. Next on Dr. Phil”).
So if we know what we’re not being told, what do we make of these readings?
I believe Jesus is talking about loyalty and is using healthy doses of hyperbole. In other words, take this with a grain of salt. This may be a small distinction but I don’t believe we are watering down his teaching to make them more palatable for us to read and feel comfortable. Simply put we read things differently now than they did 2,000 years ago.
We currently live in, let’s face it, a bit of a fundamentalist world. We have social media and a 24 hour news cycle. When something “blows up” on either we experience the same event (or soundbite) over, and over, and over again. With the advent of instant replay our sporting events, even the banal ones, gets repeated multiple times. Rarely is anything put in context. If a politician changes his position on an issue he hasn’t evolved, he’s “flip flopping.” If a minivan owning mother of three expresses her concern over the condition of the sidewalk near her childrens’ school there had better be a cement truck out there by the next day.
And so let’s take a step back, both in our world and Jesus’. This is probably grist for another venue, but let’s allow ourselves and others the ability to listen to new arguments and reevaluate old opinions. Let’s speak not only to the concerned mother but the civil engineer at the city in charge of sidewalks.
As for Jesus, he really doesn’t want us to hate our families. But he does recognize that there may be times in our lives that we need to make other choices in our beliefs and actions. Peer pressure can come from friends but they can also come from those we are closest to, and if we attend the same church or even share most beliefs, it can be difficult for us.
When I was in college I came home one weekend and attended mass with my family. I don’t remember the readings but the pastor was on a tear about how mothers who work and aren’t home when their children come home are bad mothers. He went on to say that neglect like that always leads to juvenile delinquency and prison. My own mother worked and when we came home there was a babysitter. It taught us (in the 1960s) that women could find fulfillment in work outside the home, and it taught my sister and I resourcefulness. The priest didn’t claim his opinion came from God but it’s hard not to think so when he’s the priest.
Others have stories much more difficult than mine. Two people may worship the same God, have different views on an issue, which becomes toxic when one disrespects the beliefs of the other. Too many of us have been told “that’s not very Christian of you” when the other person really means “that’s not very ME of you.”
We don’t know much about the personal lives of Jesus’ followers but we do know they were all observant Jews. I’m fairly certain that at some of them were counseled by family to stop following Jesus and worry more about being an observant Jew. I can see how some of that pressure could have become intense at times and how they must have felt pulled from both sides.
Jesus never asks us to hate and indeed hate is the antithesis of his message. But he does ask us for ultimate loyalty to him, even if that brings us into conflict with those who love us most. These days it can be hard to be Catholic. Families are often divided by issues of abortion, birth control, homosexuality, among others and these issues are often painful. We also recognize that Church teaching has changed over time. Catholics of the last century were not allowed in non Catholic churches and Catholics were discouraged, and even forbidden from marrying outside the church. We couldn’t eat anything before Sunday mass and all Fridays were vegetarian.
It’s easy to look on conflicts from the past and diminish their importance but (trust me) they were important. As we look at divisive beliefs today, we need to know who we are and whose we are (to quote my seminary homiletics professor).
But let’s be gentle about it.