Brief synopsis of the readings: For much of the Easter season our first reading will come from the Acts of the Apostles, the account of the earliest days of the church. Today’s reading describes how all those who believed in Jesus’ resurrection gathered to break bread and pray. They lived together and owned everything in common, taking only what they need. They also performed signs and miracles that attracted more followers. In the Gospel we read about Jesus appearing to his apostles. Even though the door was locked he appeared, breathed on those gathered, and gave them the power to forgive sins. One of the group, Thomas, was not present. When he was told that the resurrected Jesus appeared he didn’t believe them; he told them he wouldn’t believe unless he not only saw Jesus, but placed his hands in Jesus’ wounds. Eight days later Thomas was present when Jesus appeared again. Jesus invited Thomas to explore his crucifixion wounds and Thomas proclaims: “My Lord and my God!” Jesus then said: “You believe because you can see me. Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe.”

And they all lived happily ever after. You see, that was supposed to be the next line after our first reading. Truthfully it all sounds so idyllic: the earliest Christian community lived together, never disagreed, pooled all of their money and resources and loved God completely. Of course later in the same book we see conflicts, disparities of wealth and attempted power grabs. As wonderful as we may find this reading, it’s really not sustainable. Not for lack of trying. Since these words were written we’ve seen countless examples of small groups of Christians who gather and travel to a new place, convinced they would be able to replicate this perfect society. They have all failed, but you have to admire their certainty in the face of history.

We admire certainty. Watch any award show and winners will thank those who “never gave up on them” and helped give them the courage to achieve their goal. But certainty can be a double edged sword; sometimes it keeps us determined to remain on a path that leads us astray. A few years ago I had a friend who convinced himself that God was calling him to move across the country to go into business with one of his friends. He was encouraged by a televangelist who preached that anyone who advised caution was simply interfering with God’s call. Suffice it to say that his move did not result in the wealth and happiness he counted on.

If we admire certainty we also devalue doubt. Alas, my namesake Thomas in our Gospel is often called “doubting Thomas” because he didn’t immediately believe that Jesus had risen from the dead. Many of us read this passage and believe doubt is bad and if only he had more faith he would have been better off.

On the other hand…. A few years ago my friend Fr. Larry Rice delivered a homily about how the opposite of faith isn’t doubt, but despair (by the way he podcasts his homilies and you can easily find him). Despair means we’ve given up hope while doubt means we desire more information. Doubt allows us an openness to new understandings, new ways of looking, and frankly, new maturity. Because there are times in all of our faith journeys when we find something that troubles us and we have to decide what we’re going to do about that.

The Italian town of Turin boasts a cloth that purports to be the burial cloth of Jesus even though we have no record of it before 1354. For years the shroud’s believers bemoaned the fact that they couldn’t use the scientific method of carbon dating to prove it was 2000 years old (it would require burning a large section of it). But advances in carbon dating allowed a small thread to be used in 1988 and it showed the shroud goes back to only about 1260. So what do you do if you’ve always believed it was Jesus’ burial cloth?

Well, some of us held that while it was an object of interest our faith does not depend on it’s veracity. We can still believe in Jesus’ resurrection without believing in the shroud. But others refused, and saw any doubt as a sign of weakness. They now hold that carbon dating isn’t accurate and no matter what, the shroud covered Jesus in the tomb.

I have a distant relative who describes himself as a strong Christian and he believes that anyone who believes in evolution will be denied salvation. He believes the world is only 6000 years old and that it’s only a matter of time before we find Noah’s Ark. He believes that even if we were taught evolution in school and it made sense to us we can’t be saved because we deny God’s truth. He believes there is no room for doubt in our belief in Jesus.

When Jesus told Thomas that he believes because he saw he isn’t necessarily criticizing Thomas but is instead encouraging us because we believe without seeing. And while we’re on the subject I don’t think it means Thomas has less faith. Many of us grew up in fear of doing something wrong that will end up on our “permanent record” and will follow us forever. It’s as if we got a B on one of our report cards. It doesn’t matter how many A’s we get, we’ll never catch up with those who didn’t get a B.

But if there’s one thing we know about Jesus it’s that he’s not a harsh grader. He doesn’t demand a 4.0 grade point average and I think he’s impressed that Thomas believed without probing his wounds. I don’t think Jesus today looks at Thomas and says: “Yeah, but you were that close to being good enough.”