Brief synopsis of the readings: We begin in the Old Testament book of Sirach (also called Ecclesiasticus or the Wisdom of Ben Sirah), a book recognized only by Catholics. The author speaks about how a father is set over his children and they atone for their sins by honoring him. Those who honor their fathers will be blessed with children who will honor him. Finally the reader is instructed to care for his father when his father gets old even if his mind fails. “kindness to a father will not be forgotten, firmly planted against the debt of your sins — a house raised in justice to you.” Luke’s Gospel recounts how, when Jesus was 8 days old, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him at the Temple, as was the custom. While there they met a man named Simeon who had been promised that he would not die before seeing Messiah. He recognized Jesus and announced that he can now die in peace as he has seen the Messiah. Also present was an 84 year old woman and prophetess Anna who spent most of her time in the Temple. She also recognized that Jesus was the Messiah.

I pray this is a relic of previous generations but many of us remember the feast of the Holy Family with some level of dread as the priest regaled congregations of the perfect family, leaving us to recognize that our families fell short. There were two problems with this: the “ideal” family said more about what we saw on TV (did anyone really think the 6 children on the Brady Bunch could share one bathroom that didn’t even have a toilet?). Also we were being told this by a man who had no idea what it took to raise a family, financially, emotionally, or spiritually.

Hopefully we’ve come to recognize that the word “family” connotes different images, and in fact it’s one of those that varies not only over time, but over place. When we meet people of different cultures we often find they claim different values and customs with regard to family. And let us not lose sight of the fact that the original Holy Family consisted of an unmarried, poor couple, a son whose father was unknown and who would soon need to flee death threats on their way to Egypt.

But that doesn’t mean the image of the Holy Family doesn’t still have something to tell us. I’m a little saddened that the book of Sirach isn’t recognized by all Christians and Jews because I think it imparts great wisdom. Much of it, including today’s passage, speaks of the need to honor one’s parents. I’ve said this before but prophecy isn’t an ancient form of a self help book but is instead a recognition of God’s values and desires for us.

The command to honor parents goes back to Exodus and it’s never been easy but these days it appears to be even more difficult. When I worked for hospice I was heartened to read about the need to care for an ageing parent whose mind has failed; this told me that dementia isn’t just a modern problem. In the last few hundred years, through improved sanitation, antibiotics and other treatments we’ve extended the average lifespan by decades. That’s a good thing but many of us live in places that value independence and not needing to be cared for. In that ideal we grow up, move out, become independent, and expect to live that way forever.

Again my experience has been affected by the decades I spent working with the terminally ill. So often I found adult children (how’s that for an oxymoron?) who experienced the trifecta of paralysis, guilt and exhaustion. They find themselves in their 50s, 60s, and even 70s when confronted by an ageing parent in need of direct (and sometimes intimate) care. Sibling relationships become strained, plans and dreams are dashed and our image of our parent as vibrant and in charge becomes another casualty.

Please understand I don’t wish to replace old guilt (my family isn’t perfect) with new guilt (my parents need help I’m not certain I can provide). But as disciples of Jesus we need to understand that if it takes a village to raise a child it also takes a village to care for our elderly.

Too often we see nursing homes and other care facilities as a place for people we don’t want to think about. When my wife and I made the difficult but necessary decision to place her father in a care facility I was met, more than once, with “So you’re going to leave him all alone to die?” Fortunately he has benefited from support from family, friends and his church but it bothers us that the staff makes a point to telling us how impressed that he is getting this much attention. For many people nursing homes don’t smell good and they remind us that we may well be there one day.

The father that Sirach talks about reminds us of our history and gives all of us an institutional memory. Talking with someone who survived Pearl Harbor gives a richness that a history book never can. Within a few years we’ll lose the last voices that can tell us about the Great Depression, World War II and the Holocaust. Part of looking at these readings compels us to listen to those who have too often been pushed away.

But perhaps more importantly we need to invest in this population. When we use the phrase “return on investment” too often we think about that only in terms of profit. With our children we invest in vaccinations and education in the hopes that they will be healthy and learned over future decades. But those with fewer years left are also in need of our resources. Those who reach these years without savings are not necessarily irresponsible and talk of “shifting the burden” to a relative only enhances the belief that they are a burden.

When we, as Christians, believe that everyone matters and even “the least of my people” have value we need to take that seriously. They, and someday we, are not a burden but a population worthy of our value. Even if that person’s mind is failing.