Brief synopsis of the readings: Elisha, a prophet, comes to us from the 2nd Book of Kings. Here he encounters Shunem, a woman of influence who takes him in. While there one of her servants tells Elisha that Shunem and her husband had not been able to have a child. Elisha tells her that within a year she will have a son. In Matthew’s Gospel we hear Jesus telling his disciples that they must love him more than their families and that anyone who does not take up his cross is not worthy. Finally anyone who shows generosity to a disciple will be rewarded.

So how exactly do we rank love? If we pay attention to what Jesus is telling us, it should make us at least a little uncomfortable. In Luke’s account Jesus tells his followers that they must hate their family. Is that really true?

I’m always hesitant to speak about placing passages like this in context. There’s always a temptation, however well meaning, to say something that comes across as “Well, Jesus didn’t really mean it” and that’s not true. Our families were the first place we learned about love, belonging, responsibility, and how we fit into the world. I recognize that not everyone celebrates what we now call our “family of origin” and in the course of our lives we join and leave many communities. I’m also aware that many of our LGBT brothers and sisters refer to each other as “family” our of a need for a community where they can find acceptance. As we progress in our lives different people enter and leave our family but our love and loyalty remain.

But is our love of family our highest love? Most of the time it is but sometimes it’s not. There are times when we find ourselves at a moral crossroad and if we don’t have to choose who to love we at least need to figure out rank. If a family member asks us to violate a core value what do we do? There are entirely too many variables for a “one size fits all” answer but let me offer up something that has recently been in the news.

A few weeks ago we learned of the death of Daniel Ellsberg. Those who do recognize him may not agree with my take on things but at least hear me out. If you’re under 60 or not interested in politics you may not know the name but he became famous overnight in 1971. During his career as an analyst with a high security clearance he became disillusioned with the US’s participation in Vietnam and was privy to a report called the “Pentagon Papers.” It concluded that President Johnson lied to the American people and that high officials in the government believed the war was unwinnable, but the war continued because there was no face saving way out. Daniel Ellsberg broke the law by copying the document and giving it to the New York Times. Though charges were later dropped he expected to spend the rest of his life in prison for what he had done.

Before this he was, by all accounts, a man with a strong moral compass and a bright future. He was a patriotic American, married with two children … and a deep belief in transparency and truth. His decision to leak the Pentagon Papers agonized him and required him to rank his loves and his values. He knew if he did nothing the government would continue to send men and women to fight and die in Vietnam for an unwinnable war. He was accused of betraying his country and he recognized that his children would grow up while he was in prison.

If we believe that our moral compass reflects our love of God and our desire to do God’s will then we need to put that love above all. It doesn’t mean we don’t love our family but it does mean that there may come a point where we need to rank our loves.

Daniel Ellsberg’s choice was obviously a large one and one we almost certainly won’t ever face. But we do face these in our lives too. How often have we landed a job that provides well for our family only to find that we’ve signed on to a place whose values violate ours? Do we quit and put our ability to provide in jeopardy? Do we become a whistleblower recognizing that it will complicate our lives? Or do we violate our values and take the safe way out? It’s never easy.

Please understand, also, this does not choose one love at the expanse of all other loves. Daniel Ellsberg chose love of God and a desire to do his will above all, but it didn’t mean he didn’t love his country or his family. But at the end of the day he felt that to choose country or family over love of God would ultimately betray everything. As a matter of fact when he was photocopying the pages of the reports he enlisted the help of his 15 year old son and 12 year old daughter to ensure they understood what their father was doing and why.

He recognized that love is not a finite well. If we choose to love God above all that doesn’t mean we love our family less or that we have to ration our love. So much of what we learn from Jesus in the Gospels is that love is ever expansive and can include people we never thought of.

In the end if we choose our love for God and our commitment to do what God wants, all other positive loves will fall into place. Leaving a job (or a marriage) that demands we violate our values may strain other parts of our lives but in the long run will ensure that we preserve the loves that really matter. When someone says “I did it because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to face myself in the mirror” that tells me he is on the right track.