Brief synopsis of the readings: We read in the Acts of the Apostles about the earliest days of Jesus’ apostles after Jesus ascended into Heaven and the Holy Spirit descended upon them. The reading describes how they devoted themselves to communal life, breaking bread and praying. Everyone sold what they had and contributed it to the whole taking only what they needed. “And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.” John’s Gospel describes a scene after Jesus rose from the dead. The disciples were gathered in a locked room when Jesus appeared to them. Jesus granted them peace and bestowed on them the power to forgive sins. But Thomas was not there and when he heard about Jesus’ appearance he refused to believe it until he saw Jesus himself. A week later Thomas was with the group when Jesus appeared and Thomas witnessed this. Thomas professed belief in Jesus and Jesus said: “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

It’s hard to read our first reading without some wistfulness. It sounds so good: they all had the same experience and had the same reactions. They ate together, prayed together, worshiped together and pooled their money. So when did it all stop? Well, pretty early. By the time Paul wrote his first letter to the Corinthians (about the year 53) he criticized those who gathered each week because everyone brought their own bread and some were more concerned with eating while others went hungry (chapter 11 verse 21). Truthfully, there’s no way to recreate what was described here and it can distract us from figuring out how to live together now.

And when we read this passage it’s easy to assume that all of Jesus’ followers were of the same thought. But our Gospel shows that wasn’t true even in the first days after Jesus rose from the dead. It’s always been fashionable to throw a little shade on Thomas because of his doubts; we even call him “doubting Thomas.” And to be fair we can point to Jesus’ own words when he blessed those who believe without seeing (by the way, we have believed without seeing, so give yourself a pat on the back).

But let us not be too quick to join the “shame train.” Thomas told the other apostles that he wouldn’t believe Jesus was back from the dead until he placed his hands in Jesus’ crucifixion wounds but when Jesus did appear and offered his wounds, Thomas didn’t touch them. His faith grew dramatically at that moment and he is still revered among the apostles.

Our faith is dynamic and there are times when it suffers. Times when we experience grief or fear or betrayal. But it’s not missing a step in a footrace where we’ll never catch up. Faith is not a race where the only thing that matters is the finish line. During those times we need to do what Thomas did: rely on our community. When Thomas doubted Jesus’ resurrection he didn’t leave and he didn’t try to convince the others that they were wrong. He stayed with his community.

We don’t know what it was like in the week between Jesus’ appearances but I suspect that it was replete with discussions and prayer. I hope the other apostles were able to reflect their experience on seeing Jesus and encourage Thomas. I’m also fairly certain that they didn’t tell Thomas he needed to believe to belong. During Jesus’ ministry the apostles bonded with each other and I think that bond became all the more important here.

This may sound harsh but I don’t believe that “tests of faith” belong in our communities, particularly when we’re judging if someone belongs. I remember talking with a priest who refused to preside at a funeral because he didn’t think the family had “enough faith.” When someone’s faith is challenged or their faith flags, that’s when they need the community all the more. In fairness I don’t know what the issue was. Perhaps the family planned the funeral because their loved one left those wishes and the family didn’t share his or her beliefs. Or the family was so grieved by the death that they questioned God’s actions (“Why did God take my loved one”). But this could have been an opportunity to model our faith to a group that don’t normally come to us. If that’s true, we gave them another opportunity to tell a story of disappointment.

And if our faith has never been challenged, well that’s probably because either we’ve been lucky enough to never face suffering or because our faith just isn’t that important to us. When we experience a crisis of faith or when we ask someone to pray for us it means that our beliefs matter and our community matters. A faith that is weak or beset with doubt can still seek help from others and frankly that’s what community is for.

Finally it means that this crisis won’t have the last word unless we let it. The faith that we are called to is strong and enduring. Many of us have been praying fervently for the return of Nancy Guthrie, mother of Today show host Savannah Guthrie. Nancy was kidnapped in February and hasn’t been located. Savannah said this on Easter:

Perhaps this is too dark a message to share on Easter morning, but I have long believed that we miss out on fully celebrating resurrection if we do not acknowledge the feelings of loss, pain and, yes, death. It is the darkness that makes this morning’s light so magnificent, so blindingly beautiful.

Faith does not promise us a life without doubts but it does promise us that when the crisis is over our faith will be stronger. The Acts of the Apostles astounds us because it shows the transformation of the apostles from a disparate group of followers who abandoned Jesus to the saints we know today.

When I think of Thomas I think of compassion and how the community embraced his doubts, even before he saw the risen Jesus. Let’s do that.