I put this under the “chuckling” category but I have to admit I’m roaring with laughter. There was a story in the May 18th edition of our local newspaper the San Diego Union Tribune. It seems that if you have your male dog neutered, his testicles are removed. Until now your dog would spend the rest of his life living with the recognition that the whole world could tell. Now we hear from Robert Dominguez of MCT News Service that your dog can have “testicular implants” (called “neuticles”) and nobody will be the wiser. The manufacturer claims this is will help your dog’s self esteem. They can be made from several materials and come is sizes from petite to XXL.
You know, I try to stay cynical enough to keep up but stories like this remind me that I’ve got work to do.
My cat Bacio wants to know if the story mentioned a feline model, maybe something in the Jaguar/Puma size range…
As a matter of fact they can “complete” Bacio (as well as several other types of mammals). However, he should know that if he has been “incomplete” for a long time, it will look like a bald guy who buys a toupee. He’s really not fooling anyone.
They say the first cut is the deepest. But ouch. I cannot in good conscience tell Bacio he risks foppery and ridicule by donning this catpiece. The point could be academic, though. Like all long-haired breeds, his loinal regions are curtained by hanging hair. So whether the replacment marbles are leonine or Lilliputian, no one could really tell anyway. Perhaps, then, the real value of fake cat/dog nuts is less about erotic visual display, and more about restoring and healing the pet inner male, irrecovably lost at the vet chop shop. Just a thought.