Happy Birthday Mr. Mandela

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As many know, yesterday was the 92nd birthday of Nelson Mandela. There are celebrations throughout the world, and especially in South Africa.

It’s easy to get caught up in the celebrations and acknowledge the fact that he was President from 1994 to 1999. What must not be lost, however, is why he became a household name. He was born in South Africa in 1918 and by the late 1940s became an opponent of apartheid and became active in the African National Congress that was moving to end apartheid. He was arrested by South African authorities in 1963 and charged with sabotage, which was easier to prove but carried the same sentence as treason. He was found guilty and expected to be executed, but was instead sentenced to life imprisonment in 1964.

He stayed in prison for the next 26 years. I learned of his case in the early 1980s as the global drumbeats grew louder to end apartheid. Frankly, I expected the government of South Africa and the presidency of P.W. Botha (1916-2006) to continue to not care about public opinion and keep themselves in power. OK, never underestimate the power of conversion. Mr. Mandela was released from prison in 1990. Four years later he was elected president. Indeed, the world had turned upside down.

Happy Birthday. Thank you for your life and devotion to justice.

Yes, At My Age I Can Still Be a Happy Camper

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The weekend of June 11-13th was an important few days for me. I didn’t think I would actually go through with it, but I spent that weekend at Camp Marston in Julian, California as a “cabin big buddy” at Camp Erin. It’s a camp for children aged 6-17 who are remembering someone who has died. Oftentimes it’s a parent or a sibling, but it can be anybody.

For lots of reasons I’ve been looking for a place where I can volunteer my gifts, and this looked like a good spot. As many of you know, I’m a chaplain with San Diego Hospice. My work with the terminally ill oftentimes connects with the Center for Grief Care and Education and the ministry they do. I believe that grief is a skill that must be learned and the staff at our Center provides the best education I’ve ever seen. I volunteered to work with boys aged 16 and 17. I know, I know, these are not the easiest people to work with, but they are people who are in need.

I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into, but when I met the boys/young men I was living with, I knew I had chosen well. It’s been a looooooong time since I was the Youth Minister at All Saints Catholic Church in Manassas, Virginia but the issues hadn’t changed. They still wanted someone who cared about them and I was grateful to provide them with them with that. Given what they’d been through, I was grateful to be the person who cared. I know I didn’t solve all their problems, but maybe I helped them know someone cared about them. Maybe I’ll see them next year.

A Good Day to Thank a Veteran

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Today is the annual commemoration of Veteran’s Day (previously known as Decoration Day). I write about this every year, but it’s a good day to recognize that our freedom isn’t always free. We are who we are and we can do what we do because others have sacrificed for us. This afternoon I spent part of the day walking around Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery doing some work for Findagrave.com. The place was pretty crowded and that was nice to see.

Is Your House Filled with Too Much Air?

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As part of my job I go into different peoples’ homes and can see how they live. It’s an interesting experience, to say the least. One observation I’ve made is that while there are all sorts of products on the market that make your house smell fresh, it’s really a waste of time and money. With very few exceptions, most houses don’t smell bad.

One thing I do notice (and truth be told, suffer from) is the amount of clutter we keep. Maybe this is part of turning 50, but I keep thinking I should start to get rid of stuff that I don’t use.

But wait: there’s another answer! I saw a commercial recently for something called the Spacebag. These are large, heavy ply plastic bags that you fill with blankets, clothing, etc. Then you hook the bag up to the vacuum cleaner and suck out the air. It compresses the bag which allows you easy storage.

That’s right America: the problem with clutter isn’t that you have too much stuff, it’s that you have too much air! Now you can suck the air out and make more room for your stuff!

If you want another chuckle, you can see the classic George Carlin monologue A Place for Your Stuff.

Money Chronicles, Volume 2: Don't Blink or You'll Miss My Libertarian Moment

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Anyone who knows me know that I am an unabashed liberal. I almost always vote Democrat and I support almost all of the financial regulatory reforms that are currently in the news.

On the other hand, I’m finding that I can’t support additional regulation of the payday loan industry. For the uninitiated, it’s a small loan given over a short period of time. Let’s say you’re getting paid in 5 days but need $100 right now. They will loan the money to you and you pay it back with interest when you get paid in 5 days. I heard a story on this recently on NPR’s Planet Money blog. They interviewed a guy who works at one of these places and they charge $1.50 per day per $100. If you borrow $100 today and pay it off in 5 days, you’ll owe $107.50. It’s actually pretty simple.

The problem is that many, if not most, don’t use it this way. When they come back the don’t have the $107.50; they may pay $7.50 and “roll over” the loan. It’s not hard to see how this can go south in a hurry and the payday industry is happy to keep charging you $1.50 per day until you pay it back. Turns out it works out to an annual percentage rate of over 500%. Of course, these loans aren’t supposed to be annual; most are weekly or monthly.

But it’s easy to demonize these lenders. With the current hue and cry to add regulations to banks, brokerage houses, and other institutions, payday lending houses are getting caught up. But there’s a difference: unlike the mortgage lending crisis nobody is lied to. These lenders tell you up front how much they charge and when you need to pay back the loan. There are no hidden fees, variable interest rates, balloon payments, or fine print.

OK, so here’s my libertarian moment: should we ban or regulate them only because some (ok most) people who use them are burying themselves? Do we really need to parent these people by not giving them advances on their allowances?

Those who support regulation point to issues like smoking bans or seatbelts and say this is the same thing. But it’s not. We have smoking bans because nonsmokers like me don’t have to breathe the air. We have seatbelts so people are less likely to be gravely injured where they will be supported in nursing homes but all the taxpayers of the state (motorcycle helmets are in this category too). But people who drive themselves into unmanageable debt don’t hurt anyone but themselves.

True, they hurt loved ones with this debt, but so do addicted gamblers. We don’t protect family members (even children) from gambling or alcohol addiction. Neither should we for this.

On My First 50 Years

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As of 9:00 a.m. this morning (Eastern time) I am 50 years old. It feels a little strange as this number used to look really old to me. In 1970 I received (as a Christmas gift) a book called The First 50 Years, the history of the NFL from 1920 to 1970. I still have it. I remember thinking then that 50 years seemed like forever. It doesn’t so much anymore.

While it’s amusing to recognize that I’m now eligible for membership in the AARP I don’t feel 50, though I’m not sure what 50 should feel like. I know I don’t mind being mistaken for being older than I am, and I have no desire to be younger. Maybe I’m fooling myself but I don’t hear the hoofbeats of Sister Death. I love the wisdom I’ve gained in my first 50 years and while my experiences have been far from universally fun, I’ve learned some important lessons.

I’ve learned to laugh more and fear less.
I’ve learned that worry is seldom benign, often malignant, and almost never accurate.
I’ve learned that the better angels of my nature are quite powerful and are most effective when I let them loose.
I’ve learned that the people who love me aren’t mistaken, and most of the people who dislike me are.
I’ve learned that when someone pays me a compliment it usually comes after some honest thought.
I’ve learned that when someone criticizes me it’s not always done well, but I can probably learn something from it.
I’ve learned that God loves the people who drive me crazy and I should follow His example.
I’ve learned that there is no downside to praying.
I’ve learned that there is no downside to love.

And finally, I’ve learned how much I love my wife Nancy. We were out to dinner tonight to celebrate my birthday. I told her that out of my 50 years, the last 12 when I’ve been married to her have been my happiest. I hope she feels the same way.

It’s been a fun ride so far. I hope for many more birthdays. If you’re reading this, thank you.

Reflections on Our Visit to Vancouver

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Each year Nancy travels to a convention of the American Academy of Pediatrics and this year it was in Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada). I go along to explore a new city, and this year went much better than last year. This is not to say that the weather was all that cooperative. Most days in Vancouver had at least some rain; the wind and cold temperatures were an added benefit.

That said, I look forward to going back for another visit. If you watched the Olympics you can attest that Vancouver is a beautiful city with the right combination of water and snow capped mountains on the horizon. It also has wonderful neighborhoods and attractions. I recommend Chinatown, Gastown, Granville Island, and Stanley Park. We saw the zoo, which probably deserves more support but is hard to recommend. A better choice was the aquarium in Stanley Park.

One benefit to these conventions is the chance to spend time with Nancy’s colleagues. They are a fun group, but I’ve decided after several years, they eat at restaurants much higher than ours. Most often we hit a home run, but a strikeout is a very expensive strikeout. This year’s best example was Kirin Mandarin. We had a reservation one night for 7 at 8PM. Granted it was a Saturday night; it made sense to have a reservation. We showed up at 8PM and were told that the previous party had not yet left; that’s not unusual and we were willing to be patient (to a point). At 8:00 we were told it would be a few minutes. At 8:15 we were told that they had just started the final course. At 8:25 we were told that they were setting up another table for us. At 8:30 we were told that they were almost done. At this point I found the manager and asked for a 20% discount on the bill and was offered each of us a free desert. At 8:35 a homeless person came into the restaurant to panhandle us. Finally, at 8:45 we were seated. The manager then became our server (I’m guessing he’s decided at this point that a tip was off the table and he was going to take one for the team). The drink order came and included everyone’s drink except Nancy’s; several attempts to remind the server was unsuccessful. The food order came with 6/7ths of the plates we ordered. The last one came as we were finishing, and that’s when it finally broke loose. One of our dinnermates made a determination that it was just too late to serve a main course and it should be taken back. Around that same time one of our parties (who is very allergic to shellfish) found a shrimp in her dish; fortunately she found it before she ate it. I then hunted down the manager and indicated we really weren’t interested in free desert and I renewed my call for a 20% discount on the bill. I think at that point he was happy to be rid of us. He took off Nancy’s drink (that was never served) and Vivian’s meal (which would have sent her to the hospital) and Patty’s meal (that was sent back because it was delivered too late). He kept cutting until the whole bill was $101.00. That came out to less that $15.00 per person. Then again, it was close to 10:30 PM when we left the place. All in all, I’m glad we didn’t pay more than that, but next time we’re in Vancouver we’ll take pass on this restaurant.

But we do wish to return to Vancouver. Oh, and give a shoutout to Air Canada. They were wonderful and actually made flying a fun experience.

The Loud Pedophilia Scandal and the Deaf Vatican

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The appears to be the scandal that won’t go away, mostly because the Catholic Church can’t seem to get it right. Recent revelations appear to implicate Pope Benedict XVI (then Cardinal Ratzinger) in a scandal to cover up allegations of a pedophile priest, Rev. Peter Hullermann in 1980. You can read the New York Times article for background.

You would expect the Vatican to investigate these allegations, and at the very least issues a “no comment” and hope it blows over. You’d be wrong. On Good Friday, the Pope’s preacher (Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Conv) likened criticism of the Pope to antisemitism, angering both Jews and survivors of sexual abuse. Not to be outdone, on Easter Sunday Cardinal Angelo Sodano compared the publicity on this to gossip. Hard to believe these guys are in charge of anything let alone the Catholic Church.

In the last few days a story has come out about the Diocese of Oakland, Bishop Cummins, and and Fr. Stephen Kiesle. In the early 1980s Fr. Kiesle was convicted of abusing two boys and was removed from ministry. Bishop Cummins wrote to Pope Benedict XVI (then Cardinal Ratzinger) and asked that Fr. Kiesle be laicized, or removed from the priesthood. In fairness there was no attempt by anyone to have Fr. Kiesle returned to ministry. When Cardinal Ratzinger did write, he cautioned against laicizing Fr. Kiesle as it might be a source of scandal to the people of Oakland. Amazingly having a priest abuse boys isn’t scandalous in the Pope’s eyes. The letter goes to to ask Bishop Cummins to provide “as much paternal care as possible.” Did anyone else notice that the Pope never asked about the victims?

This is an issue that is somewhat personal for me. While I was never abused by anyone, I know at least two friends who were sexually abused by priests. I have to believe there were more and I just don’t know about it. I spent most of my early 20s in Boston as a seminarian of the Stigmatine Fathers and Brothers; that was in the early 1980s.

I would later find out that I was in the middle of a great deal of abuse, most of which I was to find out about 20 years later. When the Boston Globe started publishing articles in early 2002 I was astounded at how much was happening literally under my nose.

Much of the information I’m discussing now comes from a web page called Bishop Accountability. It’s an amazing page and I’m grateful for all the work it’s taken to keep track of all this.

The one priest I knew about was Fr. Richard Ahern CSS. I was a seminarian when I learned that at Sacred Heart Parish in Feeding Hills he abused several boys. He was pulled out of the parish and sent for treatment at the House of Affirmation in Whitinsville, MA. While there he confessed to the abuse and was arrested. He died on February 1, 2001. I never really liked him and was actually a little surprised when his crimes came to light. Most abusers are charming people who lure their victims; he always struck me as a lazy guy who made a nice living without having to work too hard. I don’t think anyone is happy with how his case was treated (and it still mystifies me why a 20 year old seminarian wasn’t warned about him). Before 1984 the Stigmatines knew about it but didn’t remove him. That year, according to my memory, his abuse was so egregious that he was sent to the House of Affirmation. It was only when he was there and told his story to the therapist he was arrested and the Stigmatines could no longer hide him. I don’t remember the details but they knew they couldn’t send him back to a parish so they gave him an internal job in the community where he wouldn’t have any contact with children. I also remember talk of how to support him; there was also talk of money being paid out to the victims but that always sounded like “hush money” to me. I don’t think they ever recognized how damage he did nor did they see the long term effects of abuse on the victims.

Probably one of the most infamous cases was Fr. Paul Shanley. He wasn’t a Stigmatine, but when I lived in the Stigmatine House of Studies in the early 1980s, Paul was the associate priest at the church next door, St. John the Evangelist in Newton. It was a French parish, and in French it was called St. Jean L’Evangelist. We called it St. Jean and used the American pronunciation. When I first met Paul I couldn’t figure out why an Irishman like Paul was assigned to a French parish, and why he wasn’t a pastor. He explained to me that he had a fight with Cardinal Humberto Medeiros and was told he’d never be pastor. That was true, as far as it goes, but Paul didn’t tell me that the fight was over Paul’s abuse of teenage boys. When Cardinal Meideros died in 1983 and the pastor of St. Jean’s died shortly after, Cardinal Bernard Law appointed Paul as pastor of St. Jean’s. By that time I was gone and that was where most of the abuse occurred. I taught CCD (Sunday School) at St. Jean’s and leaned that Paul did most of his damage to students of the school who were sent to him for disciplinary reasons. It was generally my policy to take care of disciplinary stuff in the classroom and I don’t remember sending anyone to Paul but I was grateful to see that none of my students were Paul’s victims. I’m still angry that Paul and Cardinal Meideros conspired to lie to me (and the parish) over why he was assigned to St. Jean’s. Paul was convicted in 2005 and is still in prison.

At some point the Catholic Church needs to find a way to deal with this and it will be a hard road. But we won’t start of this journey as long as we’re still more concerned with protecting the clergy than protecting our children.

Snyder vs. Phelps, and the Outrage Continues

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In a previous post I talked about a case that is incredibly polarizing. The news since that post is equally polarizing. The latest court ruling favors Fred Phelps and his church. It’s on hold until the Supreme Court hears the case next term, but Matt’s father Albert has been handed a bill for $16,510 to pay to the defendant, Fred Phelps.

From what I’ve been able to read, this was the order of the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals. They argue that if you bring a civil suit against someone and lose, you’re responsible for their legal costs. In the abstract that makes sense; it should cut down on frivolous lawsuits and protect defendants from being bankrupted. It should deter someone with financial means to destroy someone who lacks financial means. But I find it puzzling that the 4th Circuit is demanding payment while the case is still on appeal.

Mr. Snyder makes a good case that he cannot afford the legal bill, but it’s unlikely that he’ll actually have to pay it.

  • If he ultimately wins the case he’ll receive damages from Fred Phelps much in excess of this amount.
  • You can click on Matt’s memorial web page and send a donation
  • Bill O’Reilly, who is somebody I’m normally contemptuous of, has promised to pay the bill. It’s rare that I applaud Bill, but I do this time.

I’ll keep you posted.