Today is the annual commemoration of Memorial Day. It used to be celebrated on May 30th but now it has been moved to the last Monday of May. When I wrote this tribute last year, we had lost 3455 troops in Iraq. As I write this we’ve lost 4083. I pray next year the number will be dramatically smaller. It’s a good day to thank a vet.
In the Christian Calendar today is Holy Thursday or Maundy Thursday, depending on your tradition. We Catholics read from the 13th Chapter of John’s Gospel where Jesus washes the feet of his disciples. Tonight at mass Fr. Jairo spoke eloquently about the need for leaders to be in service and not dominate.
Alas, this would have been a good sermon for President Bush to hear. As I reflect back on the 5 years we have been at war in Iraq I grieve for the 3992 of our brave men and women who have died (if you’re keeping track it’s 1675 since this time last year) but I also grieve for what our nation has become. It goes without saying that since the collapse of the Soviet Union nearly 20 years ago the United States stands alone as the world’s largest superpower. But in the last 8 years we have not used that power well. We have not been servants, but tyrants. We have treated our allies as subjects (and are puzzled when they do not cooperate with us). We have treated countries like Iran, North Korea, and others as blights on the world worthy only of destruction. And we have treated ourselves as the only country worthy of respect.
Our next president will have an immense job. He (or she) will have to reach out to our allies and mend fences; will have to reconcile with old enemies and prevent making new ones; will have to understand that science is not the enemy and we really do need to face up to global problems like warming and pollution. Our next president will have to see our economy as part of a larger world economy that ultimately should serve everyone, not just the wealthy.
We swear in a new president in 305 days and that day can’t come fast enough for me.
OK, so this is hardly a surprising headline, especially for us who live here in San Diego, but it’s worth saying again. Nancy and I were able to go to Cooperstown in July to see Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripkin inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame. This past Saturday we went to a dinner for the San Diego Foundation where Tony and Alicia were the keynote speakers.
The Foundation is a pool of resources; people who have money they wish to donate can combine with other people. The Foundation provides resources and information so individuals and groups can find good places to donate. It also provides a place where funds can be invested prior to being donated. Nancy’s father has a fund called the Graff Family Foundation (that we will administer when he’s done with it); he was invited to the dinner but given the keynote speakers he gave the tickets to us. It was wonderful.
Tony and Alicia also administer a fund called the Tony and Alicia Gwynn Foundation. After dinner, instead of giving a speech, they answered questions and talked about how they continue to give back to the community. They are both articulate in their belief that they have worked hard, but have also been blessed. Alicia is an ordained minister and talked about how “to whom much is given much is expected” (Luke 12:48). Tony talked about how he is a public figure and he needs to act like one. He spoke about helping children make good decisions by being good role models. He is certainly that.
The funniest part of the evening was before the dinner when I introduced myself to him. I shook his hand and said: “Hello, I’m Tom Allain.” He smiled and said: “Hello, I’m Tony Gwynn.” As if I didn’t know who he is. But somehow the fact that he didn’t assume his fame was refreshing. I’m sure he won’t remember me but I’ll never forget meeting him.
These past few weeks since the fires here in San Diego have been emotionally eventful and I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said: “I need to blog about that.” Today’s entry is kind of a catch all, known in the vernacular as the whole megillah.
It’s now been a week since the fires began in San Diego City and County. Most of the fires are either out or will be soon. In the good news department, it appears all of my patients are back in their homes; the exception is the patient who lost his home but his family was able to move him to a new location where he can receive the care he needs. Two of my teammates were in danger of losing their houses; one is back and safe in her home while the other is still evacuated but her home is still intact.
The toll this week has exacted on all of us will take much longer to determine. The latest information tells us that 1,589 homes have been lost and they are in for a long process of rebuilding. But thousands were also evacuated and spent hours and days unsure if they had a house to go back to. The difficulty is that the first week brings a plethora of attention but the body reacts with a plethora of adrenaline; we’ve been flooded by stories of people who have lost everything and are cheered for their “positive attitude.” My prayer is that if their attitude has taken a few hits in the next few months, they will have resources they need (emotional and spiritual as well as financial).
By and large the politicians did well this week, but it wouldn’t be politics without some boneheaded moves. I’ve collected two:
It’s hard to imagine anyone doesn’t know this, but as I write this large parts of San Diego City and County are on fire. Late last week we learned that a Santa Ana was going to blow in on Sunday. Santa Ana’s are a mixed blessing around here; they are winds that blow from east to west (against the prevailing winds) and blow hot and dry air into our area. It’s good for people who like warmer weather (like Nancy) but bad for people who have asthma and/or allergies (like me) because they blow dust from the desert into our area. They also create fire dangers because if a fire starts it has the tools to be really bad (dry air and wind). On Sunday afternoon we noticed clouds of dirty air which are normally a bad sign.
We didn’t know how bad it was. By Monday morning we learned that several places nearby were threatened. My territory with San Diego Hospice includes Poway, Rancho Bernardo, Escondido, Valley Center, and Fallbrook. The first wave was the Witch Creek Fire that started east of Ramona (near San Ysabel) but was heading west with a vengeance; several of my patients were in areas that were under mandatory evacuation. I spent virtually all of Monday on the phone trying to find where the evacuees went; one was not hard because her next door neighbor dropped her off at our headquarters. I spent the next three hours with a few of my coworkers trying to find a place for her to stay with her cartons of cigarettes and her dog. Once the statute of limitations is over I’ll have a great story to tell.
Others took a few days to find. Waking up in the middle of the night and being told that you have 10 minutes to grab what you want to save and evacuate is incredibly stressful. It’s even more stressful if you need a pail of medication and oxygen tanks to survive the day. That’s what several of my patients (and their families) faced. In all the confusion they weren’t able to call us and tell us where they landed.
One of my first jobs entailed tracking them. Sitting in an office talking on the phone doesn’t sound like stressful work but it was. I spent the last three days scrambling to find cell phone numbers for patients whose home phones no longer work or were not being answered. Some are with relatives, others are with hotels, and some are in shelters who are not equipped for hospice needs. At least one has lost his home along with all his books, journals, and correspondence. He’s in his 90’s and I can only imagine what has been lost to the ages, but he’s philosophical and ready to start over. I wish I had his perspective.
A bright spot in this tragedy has been my hospice. I’ve had the chance to talk with and work with people from all levels of management at SDHPC. They’ve been, without exception, overwhelming in their support of the staff and the patients. It makes me more more and more convinced that I work for a good place.
A dark spot has been the impact on the lives my teammates. I live in La Jolla, several miles from any of the evacuations, and am safe. But many of my teammates live in these same areas as the patients. About half the team was evacuated and a few may have suffered the loss of their homes. I ask for prayers for them.
I’ll have more to say in the next few days but I ask for your prayers during this painful and difficult time.
On September 14, 2007 the Catholic Diocese of San Diego and Bishop Robert Brom agreed to pay $198.1 million to more than 150 survivors of sexual abuse from priests. This is (hopefully) the final chapter of a long and painful story. Unfortunately it’s a story that does not reflect well on either Bishop Brom or the Diocese.
It’s hard to imagine that anyone does not know that many dioceses are struggling with this. The biggest struggle they and the courts face is how to compensate the victims. We can’t turn back time and frankly the only way anyone is compensated is financially. That said, it’s probably reasonable to see how other dioceses have compensated their victims. In 2003 the Archdiocese of Boston paid out $85 million to cover 552 lawsuits (that averages slightly over $150,000 per person). The settlements have been increasing: last July the Archdiocese of Los Angeles agreed to pay $660 million to settle 508 cases (or just under $1.3 million per person).
Last February the San Diego Diocese was facing the first of the trials and Bishop Brom decided to file Chapter 11 bankruptcy in the hopes that a fund would be dedicated to settle the cases. It was a good try but it backfired. Everyone I know who knows the bishop says that he does not like being told what to do. I don’t know how this happened but apparently it never occurred to Bishop Brom that he would be answerable to the bankruptcy judge. Things began to spin out of control when the Diocese was accused of hiding assets. Accounts had been set up in many places for many reasons and it never occurred to anyone that they would be subject to judicial scrutiny. The accountant appointed by the bankruptcy judge called this “byzantine;” I would call it disorganized. The upshot was that the judge threatened to pull the diocese out of bankruptcy and begin the trials. It was probably the push the diocese needed to come to a settlement.
The Diocese agreed to a settlement that averages $1.375 million per person. In March the diocese offered a settlement of $95 million (a little over $600,000 per person) and insisted that this was the most they could afford without adversely hampering the church’s mission. Now they have agreed to pay out nearly double that; we’ll see what happens.
On September 7th Bishop Brom released this letter. It is, hopefully, the end of a long and painful journey.
I’ve been a hospice chaplain now for about 9 1/2 years and generally think of myself as pretty competent and pretty experienced. Sometimes I’m reminded of how much I still have to learn.
A few months ago I was asked to join a task force at my work San Diego Hospice and Palliative Care. It was to explore whether or not to talk with Richard Groves of The Sacred Art of Living, who has founded a program that hopes to transform how care is given to terminally ill patients. We were given his book The American Book of Dying; I read the book and was amazed at how transformative this is. He essentially says that we need to look back at the Medieval approaches to hospice care and recapture some of what they knew. Back then they ministered to the sick without the medications and technologies we have now at our disposal.
There’s obviously nothing wrong with current medications and technologies, and if I were sick I would want to use anything that is helpful. But we have come to rely on them to the exclusion of many other interventions, including spiritual interventions. Richard leads something called the Anamcara Project that we are bring to SDHPC starting in September.
The project sees healing as being multi-faceted and requires the practitioner to not only be skilled is his or her own profession but also to have done a great deal of interior work. Simply put it’s not enough to know about the illness, we also have to be willing to know ourselves and know the patient and family. This looks to me to be a challenging and hopefully life changing journey.
Serving on the task force has also given me a chance to work with some of the top people at SDHPC. When I first stated to work there in 2005 I was told by a friend that I would be amazed at the number of smart people I would meet there. Taking nothing away from the people I worked with at Vitas or Odyssey, she’s absolutely right. Task forces can often be a waste of time but this one has been enlightening for me. It’s also been heartening to be included in the group and I look forward to many more of these experiences.
I say this tongue in cheek because the purpose of Memorial Day is to remember those who have died in uniform. As I write this 3455 troops have died in the war in Iraq (this does not count those who have died in Afghanistan, civilian contractors in either country, or native civilians). A few days ago my friend Carol sent me the link to an article in the Seattle Times that’s worth a read. I’m not sure when I’ll get back to Arlington Cemetery but when I do I’ll make a point of going to Section 60.
This morning we celebrated the Mass of Resurrection for Aunt Aldea. I was blessed to be one of her pallbearers and the lector for the second reading. The mass was at Holy Rosary Church in Gardner, Massachusetts. The pastor, Fr. Andre Dargis, celebrated the mass and he did a wonderful job. He talked about how he used to kid her about how little she ate and how he hopes she is fully enjoying the Banquet Feast of Heaven. I can’t imagine anyone doing a better job or having known her better.
I was also pleased to see that her doctor, Dr Michael Mutchler, came to the wake. He cared for her for about 6 years and talked about how much he will mis her. It’s nice to know she was so well cared for during that time.
All in all I think she must be pleased with the sendoff she got. It was an honor to be able to participate.