Remembering, Celebrating, Honoring (in no particular order)

These past few weeks since the fires here in San Diego have been emotionally eventful and I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said: “I need to blog about that.” Today’s entry is kind of a catch all, known in the vernacular as the whole megillah.

  1. A few days ago we commemorated Veteran’s Day, originally called “Armistice Day.” It’s always November 11th and it began as a celebration of the end of World War I (called “The Great War” back then). It’s easy to remember: the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. According to legend the peace treaty was signed early in the morning but they held off making it effective until 11AM. Hard to imagine they agreed to continue the war for a few more hours.
  2. The day before, November 10th is the is birthday of the Marines. They were created in 1775 by an act of Congress. They continue to be a strong presence in San Diego and around the world.
  3. In the weeks since the fire I’ve had occasion to drive around to see the damage. I’m amazed at the extent of the burned areas, but more amazed by the homes saved. There are several places where the fire damage has gone right up the edge of someone’s home and stopped. I’m sure some of it is because the owner had the forethought to clear the area around their homes. But I’m also convinced that these homes were save by the heroism of the firefighters. It’s nice to see signs in those neighborhoods thanking the first responders. I couldn’t agree more.
  4. Finally I had occasion to go downtown today and see 1,500 people take the oath to become citizens. They have had to fill out untold forms, wait untold months and years, and learn our history and government, and still want to join us. It was an inspiration. One of our newest citizens is my coworker Paola. Don’t tell her but at our next team meeting we’re going to celebrate her work and decision.

Digging Through the Ashes, Searching For the New Normal

It’s now been a week since the fires began in San Diego City and County. Most of the fires are either out or will be soon. In the good news department, it appears all of my patients are back in their homes; the exception is the patient who lost his home but his family was able to move him to a new location where he can receive the care he needs. Two of my teammates were in danger of losing their houses; one is back and safe in her home while the other is still evacuated but her home is still intact.

The toll this week has exacted on all of us will take much longer to determine. The latest information tells us that 1,589 homes have been lost and they are in for a long process of rebuilding. But thousands were also evacuated and spent hours and days unsure if they had a house to go back to. The difficulty is that the first week brings a plethora of attention but the body reacts with a plethora of adrenaline; we’ve been flooded by stories of people who have lost everything and are cheered for their “positive attitude.” My prayer is that if their attitude has taken a few hits in the next few months, they will have resources they need (emotional and spiritual as well as financial).

By and large the politicians did well this week, but it wouldn’t be politics without some boneheaded moves. I’ve collected two:

  • On Wednesday our City Attorney Mike Aguirre suggested that all 1,000,000 residents of San Diego evacuate because of poor air quality. He gave no suggestions on how to evacuate, where to evacuate to, or how to determine the air was once again safe. In fairness he hasn’t been in the way as much as usual, but Mike wouldn’t be Mike if he didn’t have something stupid to say.
  • FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, held a press conference on Tuesday to give out information on how the Agency is responding to the fires. Normal press sources were given 15 minutes notice of the press conference to ensure they wouldn’t show up. The could call in and listen to the press conference but they could not ask questions. If the questions asked of Deputy Director Harvey E. Johnson appeared to be softballs, there was a reason: the “reporters” were actually FEMA employees who were instructed to ask easy questions. You have to give credit to Harvey though: he later admitted this fraud was “an error of judgment” but that the information given was correct. I guess that makes it OK.

San Diego On Fire

It’s hard to imagine anyone doesn’t know this, but as I write this large parts of San Diego City and County are on fire. Late last week we learned that a Santa Ana was going to blow in on Sunday. Santa Ana’s are a mixed blessing around here; they are winds that blow from east to west (against the prevailing winds) and blow hot and dry air into our area. It’s good for people who like warmer weather (like Nancy) but bad for people who have asthma and/or allergies (like me) because they blow dust from the desert into our area. They also create fire dangers because if a fire starts it has the tools to be really bad (dry air and wind). On Sunday afternoon we noticed clouds of dirty air which are normally a bad sign.

We didn’t know how bad it was. By Monday morning we learned that several places nearby were threatened. My territory with San Diego Hospice includes Poway, Rancho Bernardo, Escondido, Valley Center, and Fallbrook. The first wave was the Witch Creek Fire that started east of Ramona (near San Ysabel) but was heading west with a vengeance; several of my patients were in areas that were under mandatory evacuation. I spent virtually all of Monday on the phone trying to find where the evacuees went; one was not hard because her next door neighbor dropped her off at our headquarters. I spent the next three hours with a few of my coworkers trying to find a place for her to stay with her cartons of cigarettes and her dog. Once the statute of limitations is over I’ll have a great story to tell.

Others took a few days to find. Waking up in the middle of the night and being told that you have 10 minutes to grab what you want to save and evacuate is incredibly stressful. It’s even more stressful if you need a pail of medication and oxygen tanks to survive the day. That’s what several of my patients (and their families) faced. In all the confusion they weren’t able to call us and tell us where they landed.

One of my first jobs entailed tracking them. Sitting in an office talking on the phone doesn’t sound like stressful work but it was. I spent the last three days scrambling to find cell phone numbers for patients whose home phones no longer work or were not being answered. Some are with relatives, others are with hotels, and some are in shelters who are not equipped for hospice needs. At least one has lost his home along with all his books, journals, and correspondence. He’s in his 90’s and I can only imagine what has been lost to the ages, but he’s philosophical and ready to start over. I wish I had his perspective.

A bright spot in this tragedy has been my hospice. I’ve had the chance to talk with and work with people from all levels of management at SDHPC. They’ve been, without exception, overwhelming in their support of the staff and the patients. It makes me more more and more convinced that I work for a good place.

A dark spot has been the impact on the lives my teammates. I live in La Jolla, several miles from any of the evacuations, and am safe. But many of my teammates live in these same areas as the patients. About half the team was evacuated and a few may have suffered the loss of their homes. I ask for prayers for them.

I’ll have more to say in the next few days but I ask for your prayers during this painful and difficult time.

Thoughts on the Sexual Abuse Crisis in San Diego

On September 14, 2007 the Catholic Diocese of San Diego and Bishop Robert Brom agreed to pay $198.1 million to more than 150 survivors of sexual abuse from priests. This is (hopefully) the final chapter of a long and painful story. Unfortunately it’s a story that does not reflect well on either Bishop Brom or the Diocese.

It’s hard to imagine that anyone does not know that many dioceses are struggling with this. The biggest struggle they and the courts face is how to compensate the victims. We can’t turn back time and frankly the only way anyone is compensated is financially. That said, it’s probably reasonable to see how other dioceses have compensated their victims. In 2003 the Archdiocese of Boston paid out $85 million to cover 552 lawsuits (that averages slightly over $150,000 per person). The settlements have been increasing: last July the Archdiocese of Los Angeles agreed to pay $660 million to settle 508 cases (or just under $1.3 million per person).

Last February the San Diego Diocese was facing the first of the trials and Bishop Brom decided to file Chapter 11 bankruptcy in the hopes that a fund would be dedicated to settle the cases. It was a good try but it backfired. Everyone I know who knows the bishop says that he does not like being told what to do. I don’t know how this happened but apparently it never occurred to Bishop Brom that he would be answerable to the bankruptcy judge. Things began to spin out of control when the Diocese was accused of hiding assets. Accounts had been set up in many places for many reasons and it never occurred to anyone that they would be subject to judicial scrutiny. The accountant appointed by the bankruptcy judge called this “byzantine;” I would call it disorganized. The upshot was that the judge threatened to pull the diocese out of bankruptcy and begin the trials. It was probably the push the diocese needed to come to a settlement.

The Diocese agreed to a settlement that averages $1.375 million per person. In March the diocese offered a settlement of $95 million (a little over $600,000 per person) and insisted that this was the most they could afford without adversely hampering the church’s mission. Now they have agreed to pay out nearly double that; we’ll see what happens.

On September 7th Bishop Brom released this letter. It is, hopefully, the end of a long and painful journey.

Sacred Art of Chaplaincy

I’ve been a hospice chaplain now for about 9 1/2 years and generally think of myself as pretty competent and pretty experienced. Sometimes I’m reminded of how much I still have to learn.

A few months ago I was asked to join a task force at my work San Diego Hospice and Palliative Care. It was to explore whether or not to talk with Richard Groves of The Sacred Art of Living, who has founded a program that hopes to transform how care is given to terminally ill patients. We were given his book The American Book of Dying; I read the book and was amazed at how transformative this is. He essentially says that we need to look back at the Medieval approaches to hospice care and recapture some of what they knew. Back then they ministered to the sick without the medications and technologies we have now at our disposal.

There’s obviously nothing wrong with current medications and technologies, and if I were sick I would want to use anything that is helpful. But we have come to rely on them to the exclusion of many other interventions, including spiritual interventions. Richard leads something called the Anamcara Project that we are bring to SDHPC starting in September.

The project sees healing as being multi-faceted and requires the practitioner to not only be skilled is his or her own profession but also to have done a great deal of interior work. Simply put it’s not enough to know about the illness, we also have to be willing to know ourselves and know the patient and family. This looks to me to be a challenging and hopefully life changing journey.

Serving on the task force has also given me a chance to work with some of the top people at SDHPC. When I first stated to work there in 2005 I was told by a friend that I would be amazed at the number of smart people I would meet there. Taking nothing away from the people I worked with at Vitas or Odyssey, she’s absolutely right. Task forces can often be a waste of time but this one has been enlightening for me. It’s also been heartening to be included in the group and I look forward to many more of these experiences.

It's Memorial Day and Business is Good

I say this tongue in cheek because the purpose of Memorial Day is to remember those who have died in uniform. As I write this 3455 troops have died in the war in Iraq (this does not count those who have died in Afghanistan, civilian contractors in either country, or native civilians). A few days ago my friend Carol sent me the link to an article in the Seattle Times that’s worth a read. I’m not sure when I’ll get back to Arlington Cemetery but when I do I’ll make a point of going to Section 60.

Aunt Aldea’s Sendoff

This morning we celebrated the Mass of Resurrection for Aunt Aldea. I was blessed to be one of her pallbearers and the lector for the second reading. The mass was at Holy Rosary Church in Gardner, Massachusetts. The pastor, Fr. Andre Dargis, celebrated the mass and he did a wonderful job. He talked about how he used to kid her about how little she ate and how he hopes she is fully enjoying the Banquet Feast of Heaven. I can’t imagine anyone doing a better job or having known her better.

I was also pleased to see that her doctor, Dr Michael Mutchler, came to the wake. He cared for her for about 6 years and talked about how much he will mis her. It’s nice to know she was so well cared for during that time.

All in all I think she must be pleased with the sendoff she got. It was an honor to be able to participate.

OK, It Was Just a Few Hours

In the early hours of Saturday morning, April 28th, Aunt Aldea slipped away. I’ve spent several hours today talking with various airlines making plans to fly to Gardner, Massachusetts for the funeral on May 2nd. As I remember her my mind is filled with slides, but mostly I’m getting my mind around the fact that I’ve known her all my life, but only the last 46 years of hers. My earliest memories consist of when she and Uncle Bill still ran Bill’s Market on Cross St. in South Ashburnham. They closed it in the late 1960s when his health began to fail. They converted it into a garage (since it was next door to their house) and game room. Shortly after he died in 1981 I was going through stuff there and found a revolver. It was the first (and only) time I held a handgun and couldn’t believe it was there. When I asked Aunt Aldea about it she matter of fact told me that they kept it around when they had the store. Fortunately I was able to convince her to get rid of it.

I know this happens whenever we lose somebody of a previous generation but I don’t remember when she wasn’t there; neither does my mother. I think a great deal about the The Greatest Generation but Aunt Aldea was from the generation before the Greatest Generation. These were the folk that remember World War I and the first time they saw an airplane. When we lost her yesterday morning we lost countless stories and memories. I will miss her.

Aunt Aldea

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my Aunt Aldea and how she is beginning to slip into the last stages of her life. I just heard from my parents that it may be within the next few days. She’s in the nursing home and is essentially nonresponsive. This process could take just a few hours, or it could stretch into a week or longer. This has always been the most mysterious part of the dying process for me. I believe the person is beginning the transformation from this life to the next but none of us really knows what it is like. We always assume that the person can hear (that’s why it’s bad taste to start dividing up the stuff in their room while they are present) but don’t even know that for certain. I’ve seen people have conversations with people who died years before and I suspect they may be talking with them. The good news is that the pain medication seems to be working and she isn’t in any real discomfort. She will be missed.

Still grieving for Blacksburg

The stories have been coming in for a few days and we have more information but I’m not sure we have any answers. We know the shooter’s name and the names of the victims. Today NBC received a tape, several pictures, and a videotape and now we know the words of the shooter.

But how do we make sense of something that is in the end….senseless? There’s nothing we can discover that will make this sensible or acceptable. But we also need to understand that there’s nothing we can discover that will make this preventable. The little news I’ve seen about this appears to center on either remembrances or security issues. Yesterday on the Today Show I watched Clint Van Zant talk about how to keep yourself safe and what the police should have done. Problem is ol’ Clint runs Van Zant Associates, an organization that assesses threats. Hard to image he’d say “These things are random and there’s no point in worrying about it.”

Let us continue to pray for all those who died.