Category Archives: Remembering

Happy Birthday Eve, Mr. Darwin

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Tomorrow is the 200th birthdays of Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) and Charles Darwin (1809-1882). Tomorrow I’ll be writing about President Lincoln but today I want to remember Charles Darwin.

Charles Darwin is best known for his book, The Origin of Species. He has become the flashpoint in a debate between evolution and creationism. Before the 19th century most people believed that the creation of the world happened as it was described in the Bible. Charles Darwin and others began to observe through scientific experimentation that there was another story.

Therein lies the rub. People who use the Bible as the only source for the world’s creation trace our orign to October 23, 4004 BC. You can read more about it here. Darwin and others began to posit the theory that the world is much older and that species evolved. In other words, the first people were not Adam and Eve. We, instead, evolved from other creatures and other primates are (in a sense) our distant cousins.

Almost immediately after the publication of his book there were those who believed that Darwin wrote his book only to destroy Christianity. They felt that anything that talked about evolution would cause well meaning believers to renounce belief in God and that the world would become atheists (and would therefore be condemned to hell.)

On the other hand, many of us believed that there is not problem in believing in both evolution and God. We were heartened by Pope John Paul II who claimed that Genesis answers the “why” of creation and not the “how.” As a lifelong Catholic it never occurred to me as a child that evolution was wrong. I never saw the connection between science class and church. I always believed in both evolution and God.

It wasn’t until I became an adult that I discovered that there were people who though the world was only 6000 years old. When I first learned about creationism (or its first cousin “intelligent design”) I couldn’t believe intelligent people could believe in such a thing. I quickly recognized that, despite their claims, this wasn’t science.

The scientific method, developed in the 1700s, follows a strict course: you begin with observation, which leads to a hypothesis, followed by experimentation. If the experimentation confirms the hypothesis, it becomes (over a series of experiments) a theory. If it doesn’t, the hypothesis is discarded in favor of another hypothesis. Over time the theory becomes more and more significant and more and more accepted (like gravity).

Creationism isn’t science because it doesn’t follow this course. It begins with the conclusion that must be found. It then develops a hypothesis that picks and chooses observations that lead to the conclusion that must be found. Any experimentation that leads in another direction is discarded, and any experimentation (no matter how suspect) that leads in the right direction must be true.

In the final word, I think the Christian Churches picked a fight with Darwin that didn’t need to be fought. Faith doesn’t mean you have to disbelieve what science finds to be true and it doesn’t mean you have to stop using your brain. My belief in God includes the possibility that God created the world and watches over its evolution. I pray for the day when all Christians believe this.

Rest in Peace Aunt Freda

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When Nancy and I were on our way home from Yosemite we got a call from my father that his older sister Alfreda Theresa Allain Ladroga died. I had to ask him if I had heard it right because she was not the person I expected to be the one to die. My father is the youngest of seven children: Jeanne, Ed, Joe, Freda, Norman, Andre, and Donald (my father). Andre was always known as “Tonto” and I always heard him referred to as “Uncle Tonto.” He died in a drowning accident in 1964 and I’m too young to remember him. My father is 77 and his siblings are all in their 80s. I’ve known for a while that in the next few years I’ll be getting some calls with this news, but this call was a surprise. At 83 she was one of the younger ones and appeared to be in good health. On the other hand I found that the last time she had seen a doctor was when my cousin Rick was born in 1960.

As I understand it she was talking about abdominal pain and my cousin John noticed that she appeared weak. Last week he finally convinced her to go to the hospital. When she got there they noticed her liver enzymes were off and further tests showed she had advanced colon cancer that had spread to her kidneys and liver. In a few days she was gone. My theory is that she had known for a while she was sick and chose not to have it treated. I respect that as she was in her 80s and probably didn’t look forward to facing chemotherapy and/or radiation for the rest of her life.

In any case I will miss her. Earlier in my life Gardner, Massachusetts was an important part of my life as were my father’s siblings. A few times I visited Gardner in college I stayed with her since she had the room and she was very kind to me. She had also been important to my father as she could give him information on what was going on with his siblings (this may not make much sense unless you’re French and understand that communication is not our strong suit).

Here is her obit in the Gardner News:

GARDNER — Alfreda Therese “Freda” (Allain) Ladroga, 83, of 61 Lake Street, Gardner, died Friday, January 23rd in UMASS-Memorial Medical Center, 55 Lake Ave N., Worcester, surrounded by her family, following a brief illness.

Born in Gardner on March 18, 1925, she was the daughter of the late Calixte and Emma (LeBlanc) Allain.

Alfreda graduated from Gardner High School with the Class of 1943.

She was a Personal Care Attendant, employed by Worcester State Hospital, Worcester for several years, retiring in 1985. She was previously employed by Rutland State Hospital, Rutland and Gardner State Hospital, Gardner.

Alfreda was a member of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary Church, Gardner.

She enjoyed playing scrabble, crocheting and doing crossword puzzles “in ink”. Alfreda loved to cook and was generous with her special recipes. She most enjoyed her family, friends and church.

Alfreda was predeceased by her husband of 53 years, Zigmond Ladroga, who died in 2001.

She leaves two sons, John A. Ladroga and his companion Renee Haley of Phillipston and Richard K. Ladroga and his wife Tracy of Athol; one daughter, Kathleen A. Gallant and her husband Laurie of Gardner; four brothers, Edward Allain and his wife Eva of Gardner, Norman Allain and his wife Lempi of Gardner, Joseph Allain of Gardner and Donald Allain and his wife Claire of Woodbridge, VA; one sister, Jeanne Hetnik of Otter River; ten grandchildren; six great-grandchildren; several nieces, nephews and cousins.

She was predeceased by a son, John Henry Ladroga and by one brother, Andre Allain.

Funeral services will be held Wednesday, January 28th from the Boucher Funeral Home, Inc., 110 Nichols Street, Gardner with a Mass at 10:00 a.m. in Our Lady of the Holy Rosary Church, 135 Nichols Street, Gardner. Burial will be in Notre Dame Cemetery, Gardner, at a later date.

Calling hours in the funeral home are Tuesday, January 27th from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. and Wednesday, January 28th from 8:30 a.m. to 9:30 a.m.

Memorial contributions may be made to Our Lady of the Holy Rosary School, 135 Nichols Street, Gardner, MA 01440.

Rest in peace, Aunt Freda. I’m sorry I’ll miss your sendoff.

Exit Thoughts on 2008

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted; I keep thinking that someday I’ll have the time to post on a more regular basis.

It’s been quite a year; the most important news is good: George W. Bush leaves office in 20 days and Barack Obama will take the helm. It’s been a long 8 years and I believe the country has suffered greatly under the Bush years. He believes that history will vindicate him and his reputation (like Harry Truman’s) will improve. I, on the other hand, believe in 20 years it will be hard to find anyone who will admit that they voted for him.

Much of the rest of the news is bad. It’s hard to believe what’s happened to the economy in the last year. Wall Street will be open tomorrow and these numbers will change, but not significantly. Stocks in the Dow Jones Industrial Average have declined nearly 35% this year. Unemployment is up and it appears we are in the beginning stages of a long and painful recession. As for Nancy and me, our portfolio has gone down 28% (even with our contributions to our retirement plans). My employer, San Diego Hospice, like many nonprofits, is feeling the twin blows of decreased donations and declining stock portfolios. So far they’ve announced no payraises in 2009 as well as no employer contributions to our 401(k)’s. We’ve also had some layoffs in the bereavement department. It appears my job is safe though.

Speaking of jobs, there has been some good news in that department. In February I’ll celebrate 4 years at San Diego Hospice (and I just passed 11 years as a hospice chaplain). For the past 3 years I’ve been a preceptor: I’ve been one of the chaplains who has mentored new chaplains in the agency. I’ve found that I really love meeting and mentoring new folk. I appear to have some success: of the 7 new chaplains I’ve mentored, all are still with the agency. I’ve been asked if I’m interested in going up the ladder in management, and while that’s flattering I have no desire to do that. Last month ago the agency decided to come up with a new classification: advanced clinician master preceptor. We are developing two teams where everyone (nurse, social worker, home health aide, and chaplain) is a preceptor and will mentor new employees as a team. This sounds complicated as I’m describing this, but let me say this: I applied for one of the positions and was accepted into the program.

This is really the best of both worlds as I will continue to see patients and do more mentoring. I’ll also be working on a team where all of us are advanced clinicians. Since there are two teams, I’ll be working with another chaplain and it’s someone I work well with. The teams will be working closely together to develop curricula, not only for new employees, but for the agency as a whole. I’ll be working on a nursing home team (not a home team) and I haven’t worked in nursing homes since I was with Odyssey over 4 years ago. As I told my new boss, there will be a definite “remembering curve.” I’ll also be working at nursing homes much closer to home which will give my Prius a break.

One of the reasons I haven’t posted in a while is that I was down with a bad case of pertussis, also known as whooping cough. I came down with it the beginning of November, and ironically enough, my worst day with it was election day. As I told Nancy, I never remember being this sick, and the day I’ve been anticipating for 8 years was not even a day I could celebrate well. It was horrible and I can’t imagine what it must be like for infants and children. It’s not hard to imagine how this can be fatal in infants. I missed a week and a half of work and probably came back too soon. Even now I have an occasional coughing fit. It was probably exacerbated by my asthma but even so, my heart goes out to anyone who has this illness. It’s good to be feeling better.

Finally, let us all pray that 2009 is a good year for all.

T Plus 5 Days and Counting

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I’m writing this on Sunday night after the Presidential election. I hope everyone knows this, but Barack Obama defeated John McCain last Thursday. The popular vote was 65,431,955 (53%) for Obama and 57,434,084 (46%) for McCain. In the electoral map, Obama won 364 electoral votes vs. 173 for McCain (different news organizations have different numbers, but they are close enough for my doing). As a sidebar I looked at some of the web pages of the independent candidates I listed on my page. I wasn’t able to find much information on how many votes they received, and I have to say that as a group they are not gracious losers. I didn’t see any of them offer their support or prayers to the new president; none of them took a page from Senator McCain’s gracious and benevolent remarks.

In any case it’s still hard to believe that the campaign really is over. With all the buildup, all the twists and turns, it didn’t take long on Tuesday night to have a winner. By the time our polls closed at 8PM local time the networks knew and shortly after 8 the race was over. We had some friends and family over and when Senator Obama was announced we all looked at each other in disbelief.

Since then there has been an outpouring and it’s moved me to tears several times. I grew up in Virginia and thought I was aware of racial politics and beliefs but I was not prepared for the welling of emotion over the election of an African American man for President. I guess I was one of the few people of my generation who did believe I’d see an African American President in my lifetime (mostly at this point I’m still getting my head wrapped around the fact that Obama is younger than me). On the other hand “knowing I’ll see it happen someday” is very different from actually experiencing it. I’ll never forget the faces in the crowds in Grant Park in Chicago where thousands gathered. This time just feels so . . . hopeful.

I say this against backdrop of the horrible racial politics that the other side attempted. I wrote about this a few days ago, how blogs all over the country were trying to portray Obama as an outsider with a “secret agenda” who is “not one of us” and “secretly wants to destroy America.” These words make his victory all the sweeter in that this type of ignorance didn’t work.

The dark spot of the election for me here in California was the passage of Proposition 8. Last May the California Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional for California to deny marriage to same sex couples; almost immediately groups in and out of the state began this proposition to change the state constitution to define marriage as only for heterosexual couples. It passed by a thin margin. I’m not sure where it goes from here, but it does strike me as unfair that the state constitution can be changed by a simple majority on a proposition. By contrast, the U.S. Constitution can be amended only after a two step process: a resolution is passed by 2/3 majority of the House and Senate, and is ratified by the state legislatures of 3/4 of the states.

The supporters of Prop 8 disagree with me on this reasoning but I do draw a line from this to the debate about interracial marriage that took place last century. Until 1967 (in the case of Loving vs. Virginia) it was against the law in several states for people of different races to marry. The Supreme Court argued here that there was no constitutional right to define marriage as between people of the same race.

The landmark Supreme Court case in the civil rights era is Brown vs. Board of Education, 1954. What is not well known is that it overturned a previous Supreme Court case, Plessy vs. Ferguson, 1896. In the Plessy case the Court ruled 8-1 that it was permissible to allow “separate but equal” facilities. The Brown case, 58 years later, argued that separate is inherently unequal and there can be no double standard.

That’s the issue I have with those who hold that our gay brothers and sisters still have domestic partnerships. The argument is that they have this provision and marriage can still be reserved to a man and a woman. Only it can’t. Justice Warren in 1954 was right: separate is simply not equal.

So let’s take a moment to celebrate Barack’s victory, but then remember that we still have work to do.

Old Men Dream

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No, the subject of this post does not acknowledge the fact that my gray hair and beard allow me to order from the senior’s menu at Coco’s Restaurant and Denny’s without being asked if I qualify.

Old Men Dream is the title of the book I’m currently reading. It was written by and old and dear friend, Pete Fullerton. If you’re of a certain age you may remember him as the bass guitarist of the 1960s folk group We Five. I first met Pete and his family in 1983 when I was a student at St. Patrick’s Seminary. After some hesitation I got involved in the Youth Ministry Program at St. William’s and St. Nicholas’ Catholic Churches in Los Altos, California. The two parishes combined and hired Greg Kremer as the Youth Minister. Pete and his wife Sue were an integral part of the ministry and I soon became friends with them and their 5 children. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 25 years.

When I first met Pete and Sue he was working for Lockheed and doing some charity work as he had time. A few years later they made the decision that Pete would devote his full time to the charity, Truck of Love. They do incredible work and I’ve been blessed to be able to support it; please check out their website. In 1997 after much prayer and discussion, Pete decided he wanted to live as a homeless person for a few months; Old Men Dream is his chronicle of this experience. Pete has always been a deeply spiritual man and he took the name “Old Man” from the Biblical Book of Joel: “Old men shall dream dreams and young men shall see visions.” As I read this book I’m finding that it’s surfacing all sorts of memories, and thoughts about his journey. Here they are in no particular order, save the order that they come out of my brain:

  • I’ve always been amazed at the simple courage Pete shows. We all claim to believe that God will take care of us and has our back, but Pete lives like he believes it. I’m ashamed to admit how much time and energy I spend making sure my stuff is safe. There is a point in his book where he is robbed of a few dollars and some food; it’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but when you’re living on the lowest rung it doesn’t take much to be devastating. Rather than act with anger or seeking revenge Pete reflects on what he can learn from this and how he can use this experience. There is a unique cruelty in the homeless from stealing from each other but other homeless people provide the easiest, and perhaps the only reasonable targets.
  • I can’t even begin to list all the thing Pete has taught me but the lesson I use the most is this: everyone has eyes and I try to look everyone in the eye, no matter the encounter. Think it’s obvious? OK, next time you’re at a restaurant and the server reaches around you to remove your empty plate (so he can wash it), see how deliberate you have to be to see what he looks like. I try to pick up the plate and hand it to him; sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. If Pete were a priest he would excellent at hearing confessions because he has the ability to extend his trust and love within the first few words.
  • This is related to the previous point, but he has the gift to make anyone feel important. I’ve done some work with the homeless and I know that for many of them the most crushing part of life isn’t hunger but loneliness. I find much the same in hospice. Just today one of my patients joked that several people don’t call her anymore because they assume she must be dead by now. Many patients feel the crush of loneliness because they are too sick to go out, but are also not visited as often because they are seen as “not quite as alive as the rest of us.” This is particularly true with people who suffer from Alzheimer’s or other dementia. They can’t carry on a conversation anymore and may not be the person we once knew, but they still have not lost their need for connection.

More later, I’m sure. If you want to buy the book, it’s available only through the Truck of Love website.

Pausing to Remember Those Who Served (and Those Who Still Serve)

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Today is the annual commemoration of Memorial Day. It used to be celebrated on May 30th but now it has been moved to the last Monday of May. When I wrote this tribute last year, we had lost 3455 troops in Iraq. As I write this we’ve lost 4083. I pray next year the number will be dramatically smaller. It’s a good day to thank a vet.

Remembering Martin

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Today we celebrate the life and work of Martin Luther King (1929-1968). He was born on January 15th and the holiday is celebrated on the third Monday in January. If were alive he’d be 79 but he died nearly 40 years ago. It’s the first major national event I remember, mostly because of the riots in Washington D.C. and other cities following the assassination.

We continue to suffer from the sin of racism in this country (talk to someone who looks Arab) and I continue to admire Dr. King’s Letter From Birmingham Jail.

Happy Thanksgiving

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I am writing this on Thanksgiving Day, before we head to Nancy’s sister’s home and eat way too much. I’ve always loved Thanksgiving for many reasons. Mostly I like the fact that it’s a civil holiday but most of us think of it in religious terms. I can’t imagine not going to church on Thanksgiving. Last year I included President Lincoln’s 1863 Proclamation. I read this yesterday at my team meeting at work and realized that few of us know that the holiday is only 144 years old. Here’s what he wrote:

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they can not fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well as the iron and coal as of our precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity, and union.
In testimony whereof I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the city of Washington, this 3d day of October, A.D. 1863, and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-eighth.

Thank you, President Lincoln.

Remembering, Celebrating, Honoring (in no particular order)

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These past few weeks since the fires here in San Diego have been emotionally eventful and I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve said: “I need to blog about that.” Today’s entry is kind of a catch all, known in the vernacular as the whole megillah.

  1. A few days ago we commemorated Veteran’s Day, originally called “Armistice Day.” It’s always November 11th and it began as a celebration of the end of World War I (called “The Great War” back then). It’s easy to remember: the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. According to legend the peace treaty was signed early in the morning but they held off making it effective until 11AM. Hard to imagine they agreed to continue the war for a few more hours.
  2. The day before, November 10th is the is birthday of the Marines. They were created in 1775 by an act of Congress. They continue to be a strong presence in San Diego and around the world.
  3. In the weeks since the fire I’ve had occasion to drive around to see the damage. I’m amazed at the extent of the burned areas, but more amazed by the homes saved. There are several places where the fire damage has gone right up the edge of someone’s home and stopped. I’m sure some of it is because the owner had the forethought to clear the area around their homes. But I’m also convinced that these homes were save by the heroism of the firefighters. It’s nice to see signs in those neighborhoods thanking the first responders. I couldn’t agree more.
  4. Finally I had occasion to go downtown today and see 1,500 people take the oath to become citizens. They have had to fill out untold forms, wait untold months and years, and learn our history and government, and still want to join us. It was an inspiration. One of our newest citizens is my coworker Paola. Don’t tell her but at our next team meeting we’re going to celebrate her work and decision.

Six Years Out, and Could It Be Worse?

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I hardly need to say this, but six years ago today we were all riveted to our TV’s not believing what we were seeing. Our president, elected in what can only be called a disputed election, was just back from a month long vacation in his 8th month in office. Many of us worried that he would not be up for the job, healing and leading a country that had entered a whole new world. Even the most cynical among us could not guess how badly this new president would manage. A few thoughts on this:

  • Despite offers of support from Iran after 9/11 (see the CNN report from September 14, 2001) President Bush grouped them with North Korea and Iraq in the axis of evil. Interestingly, Afghanistan (who was hiding Osama Bin Laden) was not included in the axis.
  • It didn’t take long after the attacks to realized that Osama bin Laden was the mastermind behind the attacks. In a briefing at the Pentagon on September 17, 2001 President Bush declared we will get bin Laden “dead or alive.” He’s still alive and apparently coloring his hair.
  • The terrorists who planned 9/11 were given refuge in the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan. We consider both of these countries allies even though it’s become clear that they are unable or unwilling to hand them over.
  • President Bush has repeatedly claimed that the terrorists hate us because “we love freedom.” But since 9/11 we have held people in Guantanamo Bay without charging them or allowing them access to counsel. Even though the President insists that we are at war, he refuses to give them the status (and protections) of criminal suspects or POW’s. Instead the administration has invented a term, “enemy combatants,” that allows them no rights or protections. Additionally, Jose Padilla, an American citizen, was arrested on American soil and held without his Constitutional protections for 3 1/2 years. We were told that he was being held because he was trying to set off a “dirty bomb” but that was nowhere in the indictment. He was tried and convicted on a charge of attending a terrorist camp in Afghanistan. Perhaps this carelessness with our Constitutional freedoms will, in the end, “let the terrorists win.”
  • Even though it was clear that neither Sadam Huessin or Iraq had anything to do with the attacks of 9/11 we have been at war with them for 4 1/2 years. Even though President Bush had a clear exit strategy for Vietnam, he has none for this war.
  • Last winter with the newly seated Democratic majority in Congress it became clear that there was diminishing support for continuing the war. President Bush ordered a surge, or increase in the troop levels with the promise that they would show clear and obvious results. Out of this a series of 18 benchmarks were developed to evaluate this success. You can see from my post of July 13th that by then President Bush said 8 of the 18 benchmarks had been achieved. On September 7th the GAO announced that only three have been met, 4 have been partially met, and 11 have not been met. As I write this it’s hard to find anything that gives us reason to believe we can ever achieve our objectives in Iraq.

Simply put, six years ago the world rallied around us in our grief, shock, and determination to ensure this will never happen again. Today it’s hard to imagine a scenario that could have gone worse. We have alienated our allies, embolden our enemies, trashed our freedoms, and made the world more unsafe. President Bush, it’s time to admit that few of your policies are sound and start listening to those who elected you.