Author Archives: tom

Remembering…

Posted on by
Reply

Last night several of us gathered to celebrate the birthday of Nancy’s brother Greg (whose birthday was actually Friday the 6th). We also commemorated the fact that yesterday was the 7th anniversary of the death of Nancy’s mother, Marion Graff. July 4th is also a reminder to me and my family of some of the tragic consequences of holiday celebration. My father’s brother Andrew (who was always called “Tonto”) drowned on July 4, 1964 after falling into a lake. My cousing Greg died July 4, 1977 in a single car accident coming home from a July 4th party. To this day I’m not a big fan of fireworks because I remember hearing the fireworks after getting the news of Greg’s death.

No, No, I'll Put the Leftovers Away!

Posted on by
Reply

This is a little macabre, but maybe I’ve become a little hardened after working with hospice. The Associated Press this morning is reporting on a story from Verviers, Belgium. It seems that Didier Charron was hosting a dinner party. He is known for his temper and a few weeks earlier his wife had asked for a divorce. After dinner was over one of the guests went downstairs to put the leftovers in the freezer and found the body of his wife and stepson there. For me this raises a few questions:

      What exactly did he serve for dinner? I hope it wasn’t meatloaf.
      Why did he let someone else help with the cleanup?
      Didn’t anyone notice that the rest of his family wasn’t there?
      And finally, what exactly is the proper thing to do when you find two bodies in somoene else’s freezer?

At this point I think Mr. Charron needs to plead guilty and throw himself on the mercy of the court. The next owner of the house should also get a new freezer.

Happy 231st Birthday America

Posted on by
Reply

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday, and if you have a chance take a look at the Declaration of Independence. It’s really a remarkable document for a few reasons. The first of these is the simple boldness of a group of colonists who declared that they could declare this. Political philosophers of the time were beginning to talk about how rights of men (and women we can say now) came not from the king, but from God, and that these rights are “self evident.” That’s fine to write about in the abstract, but the group in Philadelphia that summer were putting their lives on the line for this. The second is that the grievances against George III are listed. In light of President Bush it would be good to review a few of these:

  • He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
  • He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
  • For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury
  • For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

Enough said.

Walking the Family Roots

Posted on by
Reply

In May when I was in Gardner for Aunt Aldea’s funeral I spent part of a day at the old cemetery photographing family tombstones for my genealogy research. Several of Nancy’s ancestors are buried in Los Angeles and yesterday I wandered around Calvary Cemetery. I was able to find the graves of her paternal grandparents as well as an aunt, an uncle, a great uncle and aunt. Alas I was not able to find the grave of her great grandfather who died in 1920. He is in the records but there was no stone; I assume it was either destroyed or never there. The one stone I did find that I didn’t expect was the grave of her uncle Joseph Graner who died in 1923 at the age of 3 months.

Sacred Art of Chaplaincy

Posted on by
Reply

I’ve been a hospice chaplain now for about 9 1/2 years and generally think of myself as pretty competent and pretty experienced. Sometimes I’m reminded of how much I still have to learn.

A few months ago I was asked to join a task force at my work San Diego Hospice and Palliative Care. It was to explore whether or not to talk with Richard Groves of The Sacred Art of Living, who has founded a program that hopes to transform how care is given to terminally ill patients. We were given his book The American Book of Dying; I read the book and was amazed at how transformative this is. He essentially says that we need to look back at the Medieval approaches to hospice care and recapture some of what they knew. Back then they ministered to the sick without the medications and technologies we have now at our disposal.

There’s obviously nothing wrong with current medications and technologies, and if I were sick I would want to use anything that is helpful. But we have come to rely on them to the exclusion of many other interventions, including spiritual interventions. Richard leads something called the Anamcara Project that we are bring to SDHPC starting in September.

The project sees healing as being multi-faceted and requires the practitioner to not only be skilled is his or her own profession but also to have done a great deal of interior work. Simply put it’s not enough to know about the illness, we also have to be willing to know ourselves and know the patient and family. This looks to me to be a challenging and hopefully life changing journey.

Serving on the task force has also given me a chance to work with some of the top people at SDHPC. When I first stated to work there in 2005 I was told by a friend that I would be amazed at the number of smart people I would meet there. Taking nothing away from the people I worked with at Vitas or Odyssey, she’s absolutely right. Task forces can often be a waste of time but this one has been enlightening for me. It’s also been heartening to be included in the group and I look forward to many more of these experiences.

Dilbert for Breakfast

Posted on by
1

I’m a big fan of the comic strip Dilbert and I read it as a part of my morning newspaper routine. Today’s strip was priceless and just slightly off color:
Dilbert cartoon

Tell the truth, haven’t we all felt like this from time to time?

Jury Duty: Always a Bridesmaid…

Posted on by
1

I spent 8 1/2 hours today down at the San Diego Hall of Justice. I was invited down to be a juror for (I think) the 4th time since I’ve lived in San Diego. The one thing all these episodes have in common: I didn’t get on a jury. Today I reported at 7:45 a.m. and sat in the jury lounge until 11:30 when they told us to go to lunch and return at 1:15. Finally at 1:45 I was called to a courtroom. There were 50 of us and I drew number 37; since it was a trial for a woman charged with misdemeanor reckless driving I assumed the jury would be empaneled long before they got to me. Actually they finished with number 28 which was more than I expected but 9 short of me. I ended my day at 4:15. The good news is that I read 140 pages of my current book Einstien. It’s an excellent book but a long one and it was good to bite off a good chunk of it today.

Most people I know dread jury duty and see it as more of a bother. I have to confess that I like the experiences (even if I don’t get picked for a jury). This is one of those experiences that is a direct result of our Constitution. The framers of our Constitution went to great lengths to make certain, as much as is reasonably possible, that nobody is wrongly convicted. When someone is accused of a crime he is presumed to be innocent unless he voluntarily confesses or is found guilty by twelve of his peers. To be one of these twelve is an awesome responsibility and is rare when we look at all the other nations of the world.

I’m eligible again in one year.

Christian Exodus Movement: Get Rolling!

Posted on by
Reply

In July 2005 I wrote about the Christian Exodus Movement. They are people who believe the United States has turned away from God and are planning an enclave for themselves. Almost three years ago they chose South Carolina as the place to go; the founder (Cory Burnell) was still living in California but planned to move to South Carolina in 2006 or 2007. He is now announcing that he has found a job and will move his family there next month. There are already about a dozen families who have moved and he expects another two dozen by 2008. As the Burnells plan to move out of California, I have only one question: Can I help you pack?

Is "Scooter" Really a Good Name for Somone Going to Prison?

Posted on by
Reply

Word came yesterday that Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison for lying to the FBI and the Grand Jury. He was chief of staff for Vice President Cheney; during the investigation of the Valarie Plame leak he misled the investigators.

Many of us believe he has become the scapegoat and that the Plame leak was masterminded by the Vice President and Karl Rove. He is guilty of what he’s been convicted of but he was sacrificed to save his bosses. At this point the case is being appealed.

There is also the question of whether or not he will be pardoned by President Bush. Obviously I don’t think he should be pardoned, but it’s a question of loyalty with the President. Bill Kristol in his publication the Weekly Standard accuses President Bush of being disloyal. The article is worth a read. Message to Bill Kristol: on behalf of those of us who have never respected the President: Welcome aboard.

600 Days and Counting

Posted on by
Reply

If you’ve been paying attention to the presidency counter (and most people tell me it’s the best part of the page) you know that as of today President Bush has exactly 600 days left in office. Or, more to the point, the world has to endure 600 more days of the Bush presidency.

Clearly the most enduring and most shameful legacy of this presidency will be the War in Iraq (and not 9/11 as he wants it to be). Word came yesterday that Cindy Sheehan has thrown in the towel and no longer wishes to be the face of war protest. Truth told, I was never comfortable with her in that role. I didn’t think she was that articluate and she often provided easy fodder for the nut cases on the right, but you can’t deny that she has suffered from this war and she has a place among the Gold Star Mothers. This raises the issue of exactly who is the face of the opposition to the war. The President has been incredibly successful in bullying Congress into approving stopgap war funding measures (while refusing to put the war costs into his annual budget and allowing the deficit to look as large as it is). He has done this by convincing our representatives that voting against war funding means taking food and bullets away from our troops.

And our representatives have rolled over. My senators split on the last funding bill: Barbara Boxer voted against it, but Diane Feinstein and my congressional representative Susan Davis voted for it. It’s hard to believe this but we who oppose the war have to hold the Democrats’ feet to the fire. We have to make them call the President’s bluff and somehow convince him that his “splendid little war” is not good for this nation or this world. He can continue to do significant damage in the next 600 days unless we make our voices heard. Write, call, or email your representatives. By the way, the number for the White House is (202) 456-1414.